Love me!

Look at that face. Do you see sadness? Do you see despair?? Do you see loneliness and loss of hope??

Christmas morning our family of six woke up and put on our warm old clothes and rubber boots and grabbed bags of dog treats, leashes and poop bags and headed toward the animal shelter. That's right, the animal shelter on Christmas morning is where we ended up instead of on the sofa all cuddled up together to open presents. Last year we didn't go but, the year before we spend 6 hours cleaning kennels, watering, feeding and walking dogs. My kids loved it and I know the dogs did too.

This Christmas morning we spent about three hours at the animal shelter and walked over 40 dogs between the six of us. We weren't the only ones there. There were many couples and single persons doing the same thing we were doing and as we walked we talked among ourselves realizing that we came together on this special day to honor the lost and lonely ones.

My heart remains there even after several days have passed. On occasion my children go over there to walk dogs when the homework is scarce. It is their way of giving back to the less fortunate, and dogs can become less fortunate too.

My mind is on the old dogs that have been surrendered by their owners. I am so gentle with all of them but, my heart goes out to those old ones. They aren't as cute as the puppies nor do they show as much "get up and go" as the little ones either. They were once content on a sofa with their special people and for some reason or another they ended up in a steel cage. It's sad to try to imagine what their little minds are thinking. They are scared and lonely for people affection.

So we walked them and sat down and let them crawl onto our lap and snuggle. They don't even know us and they just want to be held and loved. It is an amazing sight to watch them when we arrive at their cage. Their tails start wagging and the love starts overflowing. All they do here on earth is to serve us human beings and in such an amazing loyal way. Then their final destination is a metal cage when we are done with them or drop them off on a highway or farm with hopes that someone will pick them up and care for them.

God serves us daily. He is in our lives daily always ready to love us, serve us and guide us. Some of us befriend him daily and other only use him on occasion when things aren't going quite the way we would like but, God is always ready to step up and love us and help us again, kind of like a dog.

When I look at the dog I see God in their eyes, not only because they are God's creatures but, because they have a heart of Gold. Always loving, always present, always ready to be there for us when needed his abiding love.

It is sad that we dismiss our animals the way we do in this world. It is sad that we take advantage of God's creatures and even dismiss one another. We have become creatures of habit dismissing and choosing what we need when we need it out of the sake of convenience.

When we arrived home that morning the presents didn't seem as important as they did when they were making their wish list. The filled stockings remained filled as we gathered around the table and ate breakfast and talked about our special friends and the moments that we shared with them that morning. Nothing else seemed important.

Our achey backs due to the tugging and pulling on the lease by these excited little animals are a reminder today of the time well spent.

Got a moment, feeling lonely, need a hug? Visit your local animal shelter and let the love begin. Ruff, Ruff

A Flake

My daughter just called me a "flake". I told her I was going to blog about her comment. She just laughed. I told her I was going to take that comment as a compliment. Just think, we are all flakes or maybe like flakes. We are orginal, no two alike, different personalities, different appearances, some glitter, some melt. I would hope that I glitter in her eyes.

Well, I do not believe my daughter meant that I was a snowflake but a flake, you know, the one who cops out on you when someone is expecting you to do something. Me, cop out???? Maybe her expectations are to high. Maybe she is a flake???

Back to the snowflake...... or the expectations..... We all have expectations of one another. We all try to live up to expectations and some of us fail and some of us succeed. What are expectations?? Why do we have them??? I believe the defination of expectation is the product of the probability of the occurrence of an event and the value associated with the occurence of the given event, or basically my definition of the word, not living up to someones request.

Almost daily I fail in this department. I have four children. They are all different, thank you God. Couldn't imagine life with them being all the same. Every day one of them gets upset with me about one thing or another. Some days I am lucky and all four of them plan their expectations all on one day so I can let them all down on the same day. Every feel that way yourself???

We don't do it on purpose, I mean, let them down. It just happens. Who wants to make their kids unhappy on purpose? I feel I am just one against them all. I know that doesn't sound right but, that is how I feel on those impossible days. I have had a lot of them lately. I am just not glittering in their eyes lately either.

They want to go on a journey tomorrow. You know how you plan events only to no avail it doesn't go as planned? It never does at least in my household because there are too many of us with all different kinds of expectations. There goes that word again, EXPECTATION!

When I let my kids down I think really hard about how I can make it up to them only to let myself down because I set myself up with an expectation that my efforts will be accepted as I expected them to be recieved.

Oh, this is exhausting.....you know, the expectations.

So, as always I try to relate this to what my Lord thought. He probably was thinking "you humans, you just do not get it. " That is what I want to tell my kids.... "You kids, just don't get it...." I am sure he was as frustrated at us as we are with our children. The stories that he told and we just didn't get it till later. Maybe my kids will "get it" later. But, what about now? How do I glisten in their eyes? How do I let them know that aside from all the expectations that I love them and I want to glisten in their eyes?

I want to be a beautiful snowflake, one that never melts in the eyes of my children.

Life is full of expectations, disappointments, and snowflakes....

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow................

The Christmas letter....

Here it is, the paper, the empty spaces of font and letters and sentences and paragraphs. I am disappointed in myself. I didn't get the annual Christmas letter out to my family and friends on the update of my family. I go through this ritual every year. I write and hope that it gets read by at least a few so my efforts do not go unnoticed and I at least hope that they enjoy the picture that I include with the update. Didn't do it. Don't know if I will. Maybe a New Years letter instead.

Why do we go through the motions? Why not pick up the phone and call? That would take to long, to much effort, to personal????? I don't know, maybe it is just easier in this very busy season to forgo the letter. Friends, family, we want them to know about us, to know we exist, to know where we have been and where we are going..... don't we???

I think I write so I can reflect on our blessings and I want to share them with the ones I love. Some call the "Christmas letter" a "brag letter". I don't think of it that way and as a matter of fact, I received a letter from a friend that I had not spoken to in about a year and I stopped dead in my tracts to read it. I was so excited. I think I will call her.

Maybe I'll get some phone calls if I send out this New Years letter. Who knows. I have to type it first. I better get busy.

How do I narrow down what has happened in the life of six people in just one typed page? It is getting harder and harder each year. I think that is why I have put it off.

I read the Bible, the letters, the stories.... Letters date back, way back. They are important and the events remain a vital part of our history, our present and our future. I know my letters are just that; letters. But they help us all feel connected to one another, a place, a time and a love that we share in friendship with friends and family. We learn from each other in our joys, trials and in our ordinary, mundane lives.

These stories in the bible are living stories as is yours and mine.

We all have a story.

Check your mailbox soon......

Presents

Christmas lists......where did this come from and when? Do we use Christmas as an excuse to get what we want? Okay, do you sense a little frustration on my part? If not, well, there is some frustration. As a child I remember sitting on Santa's lap asking for paper dolls, you know the ones that you cut out of a magazine. My mom wouldn't buy the magazine subscription because it was too expensive, so we got the hand me downs from neighbors. If we were lucky, we got the ones from families that didn't have children so the paper dolls were still in tact.

I don't remember providing my mom and dad with a huge list....I knew they would do their best to provide what they thought we needed and I never remember being disappointed. Never!!! My memories were far from disappointment. I really don't even remember the toys, with the exception of my "tubsy doll", but I do remember the memories leading up to that special day.

The real memories lies within the family gathering on Christmas Eve, popping pop corn, staying up late, going to midnight mass and laying out cookies and milk for Santa. I also remember having my grandparents staying the night on Christmas Eve. That was the most special event I remember.

Back to the lists..... I don't want to "bash" my kids or yours but enough is enough with the lists. Prior to Christmas I told my children to just go buy what they wanted and hand me the receipts. They could even wrap them if they wanted, as that would be less work for me. I mean where is the joy if you are told what to buy them and then you wrap it up for them to unwrap and then they are not even surprised??? Something is messed up here in this scenario. Yeah, I'm sure we have all done it, gave in to our kids request hoping to be that special parent. It really doesn't work because their list just keeps getting bigger and the meaning of Christmas is lost in the list.

This is the 28th of December, Christmas has passed, but I ponder on whether or not if they have pondered what it all really means, you know, Christmas and the gift.

The wisemen followed a star that lead them to the newborn king, baby Jesus. They presented him with gifts of love. There was no list involved from Jesus. Their gift was just love. Love is the biggest gift next to time. Does there need to be any other gift?

The time I spent with my family as a child are the memories that I keep not the toys that I received because those "things" are all but forgotten. The laughter or joy my parents gifted me with when I was young remains.

"They went into the house, and when they saw the child with his mother Mary, they knelt down and worshiped him. They brought out their gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, and presented them to him." Mt. 2:11

I gave my children gifts of love this Christmas, even though it seemed like it was a "made to order Christmas". We did our special traditions that hopefully they will remember when they get older.

Merry Christmas to you all!!

QUESTIONS ?????????

This morning as usual I am scurrying around the house trying to get ready so I can be at work on time, all the while my family members ask; "will you put a pig tail in my hair", "where are my socks", "did you sign my folder", "what about the choir note", "hey mom, the winter celebration form is due", "I need money for the general teacher fund for a Christmas present", "mom have you seen my other shoe", "by the way wife, what do you want for dinner tonight", "are you working out after work", "are there any pancakes left over", "what time is it", and "mom is the bus here yet?" Mom, Mom, Mom.......!!!!!

I wanted to turn the volume down this morning and these questions were only from two of my four children plus husband.

Silence......tick, tick, tick.

I don't wish the questions away but sometimes I just want to turn on the music and tune everyone out and have no interruptions. just sometimes. It's ridiculous that I have to get up 3 1/2 hours before I am even to be at work. I literally have almost had a half day of work before I even start my other job. The good news is that I know I am not alone in this dilemma.

Peace, Peace, Peace.......

I know it will all come in time, peace that is, but will I be ready? Will I be ready to let go of my children as they turn into adults and start a life of their own. Will I enjoy the silence, peace and lack of interruptions when they are all gone? The non-stop demands that fill our days sometimes makes it hard to find God in all this busyness. I try to call His name when I get my 3rd, 4th and 5th request in the morning so I do no respond in anger and loose God in my morning. I try to find Him in each request. Sometimes I look up and say "Really God? You are bothering me for that?"

I have a question.

Will we be ready?

Ready for what?

Ready to be with God in all the silence? Will we know him then if we don't come to know him now in all the distractions?

Who is ever really ready? We think we can plan for all that life has to offer, like money in the bank for a rainy day, preventative health care for good health in our elder years, and on and on. But does life ever turn out as we plan? Are we prepared to accept the alternative course of our path in life? Are we willing to accept that just maybe we are not actually in control?

Just maybe we should get to know God in our distractions. He wants us to find him in the busyness of our day, in the silence of an empty nest. HE JUST WANTS US!

The more we are aware of Him, the better we can embrace him through our distractions by repeating His name over and over. My interruptions are conversations with God.

Jesus tells us "I am the bread of life," "Those who come to me will never be hungry; those who believe in me will never be thirsty. John 6: 35 "I will never turn away anyone who comes to me because I have come down from heaven to do not my own will but the will of him who sent me. John 6: 37-38

I echo His name each morning as I answer those questions by my family and as I echo His name we have conversation as he helps prepare me for my day.

He never turns me away.

This is it, the tree, the leaning tower of limbs. We got a little carried away with putting all the ornaments on one side. We had to reorganized several times. I think it is good enough as long as the dogs do not get to happy and wag their tail.

This tree sets the stage for my children, young and old, they all react the same way, excited. They get so excited to decorate the tree. It doesn't matter their age to see the pure joy they have in their hearts when that tree comes out of the box.

I sometimes wish we were able to have a real evergreen tree versus an artificial, however I think I will take the fake over reaction to allergies anytime. The scent of the fragrant piney needles brings spirited memories, one of which I miss.

My children will not have the memory of a real tree, but they will have the memory of receiving a package each year around the third week of December from their grandfather.

This endearing man, my father, makes each grandchild a stain glass ornament. He designs each ornament based on the personality of the child, draws the design, cuts the glass, and assemblies the ornament into a magnificent sight. Once the child turns 18 they receive their final ornament. If I count correctly, he has to date made 114 ornaments of love.

The excitement and joy of beginning Advent starts with fond memories of their grandmother and grandfather. We share stories until we are laughing silly. My children talk about each ornament as decorate the tree, remembering when they got it and what was happening at that time in their life.

They reflect..........I reflect..........we begin Advent.

The season changes, our dispositions change, we restore what we know which is forgiveness, compassion, courtesy, happiness and a longing of a vision of what God wants for each of us. We begin the transformation of ourselves into the messenger of hope and love for the world. We don't dwell on the "can't but on the "can's" because we allow God to be ever present by the constant reminder of that tree and the love that decorates it.

So the tree is the sign for my children wrapped in ornaments of love. The shepherds were told by an angel that "this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." Luke 2:12 They searched and did not give up hope until they found the Messiah.

We search, we wait, until our savior is born.

The first candle

Advent

Prepare

Prepare

Prepare

Faithfulness

Barren

Elizabeth

Angel

Zechariah

Mute

Angel

Virgin

Mary

Favor

God

Yes

Joseph

Troubled

Holy Spirit

Prepare

Handmaid

Visit

Elizabeth

Womb

Leaped

Joy

Birth

Prophet

John

Wisemen

Star

Gifts

Bethlehem

Manager

Birth

Jesus

Son

God

Christmas

Praise

Glory

Peace

A STITCH IN TIME

My grandmother used to make afghans (blankets), slippers, hats and scarves and just about anything a knitting needle or crochet hook could create with yarn. I always felt so special when at every Christmas she would gift all the grandchildren with a new pair of knitted slippers. The pair of slippers we received from grandma was something you could count on each year. The repeat Christmas present each year never got old, in fact it was just the opposite because you never knew what color or type of yarn those slippers were going to be knitted.

Knitting or crocheting is very time consuming and I guess when you contemplate the idea of a store purchase versus a homemade pair of slippers it would be much easier to purchase and the selection of slippers would have been greater. However, would the store bought present be as significant as the homemade one?

A couple of years ago I started knitting again. I would hot have known how to knit had my grandmother not taught me many years ago but, one talent of which I finally put to use. I was the giver this time of such a homemade gift versus the receiver. I had an all new appreciation for what my grandmother gave me years back. I had a proud feeling of the accomplishment of making a scarf and watching the person receive my gift of love. That was the gift. The gift was a gift of love because anyone could buy the gift at their nearest store. I selected my recipients of the scarf wisely because their gift was going to take numerous hours to complete.

Time, it is so precious. The time that grandma took to make the scarf and the time it took for her to teach me the trade. Time was actually the present. Giving ourselves to another human being out of love is gift enough. Thoughtfulness, kindness, and caring all of which equates to LOVE, love in which Jesus gave his disciples and my grandmother gave to me. Jesus gave time. That is all Jesus and his disciples had in those days was time. They didn't have cell phones, Xboxes, computers, televisions, and cars. They walked and talked and he taught them out of the love of his time. If we put all those extra things aside apart from our day we would probably discover that we would have more time too. We would have more time to put God into our life. We would have more time to talk to our children. We could possibly even have more time to just be.

God gave us the gift of time. We can choose things for our spare time or use those things to create spare time.

Time is a gift from God. How do we use that gift of time each day?

Do we allow ourselves to make time for God? Do allow ourselves time for each other? Do we teach each other to knit?

Do we give the gift of TIME?

Strawberries from the garden

My Aunt Doris left us the other day to be with the one above and to hold hands with her sister. This world has lost two sisters, two daughters, two aunts, two mothers, both in the last couple of days.

This one is for you Aunt Doris, my thoughts, prayers and memories.

I think God knew what he was doing when he let my aunts be together. It really is beautiful knowing that they are together holding hands, walking in a garden and possibly picking strawberries. When I think of Aunt Doris, I think of strawberries and the many memories packed with them. Going to her farm and picking strawberries is a memory that will never fade away.

Aunt Doris gave me "a city girl" an opportunity to experience the pleasures of farm life. Aunt Doris was a "doer". She was busy! Always moving, always sharing life's little pleasures. She was a woman on the move. Looking back at my memories I see Aunt Doris toiling in the dirt. She gardened, canned and shared! As a child I would go to her farm and pick strawberries. Her garden in my eyes was beautiful. I knew nothing about caring for the earth until I went to Aunt Doris' home. She shared with me the things I took for granted like strawberries. She gave me the pleasure to toil in the dirt.

Sometimes the "big"things don't really mean as much as the "little" ones. I tend to hold onto the little pleasures in life and picking strawberries was one of them. Life's little pleasures can all be taken for granted if we let them or we can take those little pleasures or lessons if you will, and build on them to mold us into who we are and where our feet have been to help us know where we are going.

Aunt Doris, you, your garden and the love that you gave me and those around you will be forever missed but not forgotten.

Turkey Time

Another year, another turkey! I am happy that we take time aside from our ordinary "ness" and create a reason to contemplate our reasons to be thankful. Families and friends gather to share a meal and there is much preparation prior to thanksgiving in hopes to flavor our day with a delectable dinner for all those at our table.

In preparation for the day my family gets caught up in music, baking, setting the table and making name tags even though we all know where we are going to sit. We have an unusual amount of family time doing the things that we are rushed to do during the week. I am thankful for the day because I do get to spend time with my family and share a meal without impending agendas.

However, sometimes I wonder if preparing for this day that it too becomes as busy as our ordinary days or weeks. Do we get so caught up in the dinner plans, the guest lists, decorating the environment that our thanks is never given? Do we not allow our hearts time to rest and contemplate with humility to think about our thanksgivings? I enjoy a good meal like the rest, but in this planning and mingling do we show gratitude to the one above? Do we accept these moments of family time independently or do we give due credit to our Lord?

Slow down, slow down and give thanks I tell myself. We are so blessed to be chosen to exist and to share a meal with our loved ones, freely and openly. We are so blessed to have Christ in our lives, to be baptized and to celebrate in His name.

New friends, renewal of friendships, family, a meal, a prayer, life, grace, a celebration of peace in Christ.

Thanksgiving, a day to share our gifts. Let us give thanks!

Our Holy Temple

My body aches, literally aches. Yesterday was my yoga day that I enjoy with my children as we participate together each Sunday. After yoga they swam and I did my weight routine. Yoga is all about breathing, stretching, developing your core, balancing, relaxing, sweating and the pleasure for me is having family time.

My pleasure resides in watching their bodies move so freely with such grace and flexibility. My pleasure resides in the memory of being young and carefree myself. My children didn't ache this morning like I did, but there is always that saying "no pain, no gain". What does that really mean? What am I trying to gain that I haven't gained already in my lifetime? Maybe it should be "no pain, no maintain?" I know I used to be flexible and strong like my children so then again maybe it should be "no pain, no regain?" My frustration lies within the question of "how did I loose it, when and where in my lifetime did that youthful body fade away?"

We compare our bodies constantly with what used to be and we punish ourselves by wanting what "was" instead of celebrating was "is". I am the most guilty person on the planet. I have saved my "skinny' jeans, you know the ones before children. Those jeans 21 years old are a constant reminder of "what was." I don't know why I don't just throw them out, but they are also a reminder of my youth and a time that I had at that moment in my life. Most people would probably just say "GET RID OF THEM, MOVE ON ." My response, no way! I love those jeans just for the sake of memory.

Moving forward instead of looking in the past raises the question, "am I taking care of my body, my holy temple?"

Each year do we add a couple of pounds, a couple of inches, do we just slowly gain acceptance of what we have become for the sake of comfort? I am as guilty as the rest of them, but when we think about taking back that body of our past do we also think about the whole "Holy Temple", you know the mind and spirit, as well?" I mean, we could have the body, but if we are not happy and spiritually connected to our God is it worth it? In trying to maintain that physical condition is it not important to also nurture the soul too?

I believe God wants us to rebuild our temple every day, to think about where we have been and were we are going. There will be many temptations like the aches and pains and to have an increase desire to be complacent, but God built our Holy Temple for us to take care of it and to be His true followers. Taking time each day to be committed to our God and our body is caring for the gift of our Holy Temple that God has gifted us. Neglect in either of these two is an insult to not only ourselves but to the one who made us.

If you are a follower, what condition is your temple in today?

Just Believe

When we contemplate the word 'miracle' often times we immediately think about the stories in the Bible past down from generation to generation. We think of the words like phenomenon, supernatural, surprise, wonder, marvel, amazement, unforeseen, wonderment, extraordinary event or many other words that I am sure we could retract from our vocabulary. I like to think that a miracle is an "ACT OF GOD" something that is not ordinary. I think we would all like to be the recipient's of a miracle every now and then, maybe that thought is not actually far off from being true because I believe that miracles do happen everyday in unlikely and in ordinary circumstances or ordinary people.

She was three years old, my little girl, sound asleep in her bedroom oblivious to the world around her. She never needed coaxing to go to bed. She would take her stuffed kitty cat by the tail and suck her thumb and scoot to bed wearing those footed pajamas. She had long white hair, as white as snow, and she would sometimes say "I tired mommy, I go to bed". She would just go to her room, climb on her step stool, turn off the light and climb under the covers of her bed. It was odd how a child of that age acted upon her own feelings without being told. She was also compliant to us, her parents and very cognisant of our emotions, as well.

Our little girl's bedroom was at the opposite end of the house with linoleum floors from one end of the hallway to the other. It was quite a jot to get to the other end of the house from our bedroom. This was one particular downside about this old house that we lived because as a mother sometimes you think about the "bad" things that could happen like not being able to get to your child if there was a fire at night, and the list goes on.....

One evening after she had been put to sleep and we were well into dream land ourselves, we heard the shuffling of feet coming down the hallway. I immediately thought that maybe she had acquired my childhood curse which was walking in her sleep, but you could tell by the way in which she was moving she was moving with purpose with the exception of the stuffed cat dragging behind her.

She arrived at our bedroom door saying "mommy, mommy!" I sat straight up realizing that the shuffling of the feet that grew closer and closer were in fact now in my bedroom. Her announcement of "mommy, mommy" was very pronounced. I told her she needed to go back to her bed to go to sleep that it was not time to get up. She didn't move and I knew that my dreamland was coming to a swift end.

She persisted though with what little speech that she had, leaning up against my mattress saying "What does believe mean?" Of course, I had to ask her several times what it was that she was trying to say to understand her question at such an odd time of the night. She repeated, "What does believe mean?" I was taken back by such an odd question by a three year old. I mean what three year old wakes up in the middle of the night, climbs out of bed dragging her kitty, making the haul all the way to our bedroom to ask a question like that?

She had my attention now. My husband and myself were both sitting straight up in bed looking at her with bewilderment. There goes a miracle word, bewilderment. She began to explained that Jesus told her to believe. Did I hear right that Jesus told her to believe? How could this be? There was a lot of repeating going on that night because I wasn't believing my ears and she wasn't getting an answer. So I asked again, "please tell mommy again dear." She repeated "Jesus said I need to believe." Okay, there goes that statement again and now I think I am dreaming listening to my daughter babble about what Jesus told her. My gosh she was only three years old. I asked her when was this that he told her to believe and she said "tonight mommy, he woke me and told me."

We talked about that question the next morning, but I tucked her back into bed and believed. In my books this was miracle number one on an ordinary night with ordinary people. Does there have to be bolts of lightening for God to get our attention? Does he have to feed 5000 or heal the blind? All I know is that God appeared to my daughter in the middle of the night and told her something that no three year old could possibly dream up herself. I know that if God was with her he was also talking to us.

That evening of shuffling feet was life changing for me. Maybe he wanted to let her know he loved her or maybe he felt my faith was lukewarm and I needed to warm up to him a bit more. Sure, I got it that evening and the next day as I contemplated that word over and over and even now 18 years later. He is always there, guiding us, pushing us, carrying for us and loving us.

St. Thomas said he had to see Jesus' markings on his hands and side before he would believe that Jesus was alive. (Jn 21:25) He saw Jesus die and now he had to believe he was alive. Jesus said "Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed." (Jn 21:29)

So why did Jesus come to my little girl? A good question deserves another good question, why not? Jesus said "Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me. For the one who is least among all of you is the greatest." (Luke 9:46)

It is my belief that God speaks to us in many different ways and that night he not only spoke to my little girl but he also spoke to me. It is written and has been passed down from generation to generation so that we too can believe.

A little miracle every now and then is good!!

Are you parched mom?

My daughter sometimes will call me at work and say "Are you parched mom?" I just love it when she calls and asks me that question. That question is not only a question of whether or not I am thirsty and would I like her to bring me a drink from my favorite soft drink diner but that question also asks me if I would like to see her or am I missing her or do you need a break from work or most importantly, I'm thinking about you and love you.

I do not know where we came up with this little saying or way of communicating but I love that about my daughter in her creative ways of loving me.

When I think of the word parched I immediately think about the hot sandy dessert, sun burnt skin, cracked lips and undeniable thirst for water. Yet there are times when on a hot summer day the word parched really does mean parched in the true definition of the term.

Parched means to thirst and I believe when we are parched we go looking for something to fulfill that need. Jesus wants us to thirst for him. He wants us to search for the truth in him as if we are parched and thirsty. Jesus says "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

In searching for the truth, no matter how many detours we may take in our lifetime, we will ultimately find the truth in God. Our life is full of detours, twists and turns but the path that leads us to eternal life is straight to God. He is the way, He is the truth, He is the life.

Are you parched today???????????????

Dedication

Yesterday I was at work and I started thinking about my Aunt Pat who recently had a brain anurism. She was recovering very nicely and her family kept a beautiful blog updating everything that was happening in her recovery. There was a guestbook that you could sign and see everyone's entries. It was beautiful how she impacted so many peoples life. Once I found out about the blog I read it daily. I had an urgency yesterday at noon to pray for my aunt and I did and I signed her guestbook, however two hours prior to my journal entry she took a turn for the worse and died.

This page of my blog is dedicated to my Aunt Pat.

It has been awhile since I have been to a family reunion. My mothers family is huge, several handfuls of brothers and sisters and hundreds of cousins and more cousins. Living a distance from the "home base" has its' huge disadvantages. For instance, my children never got to meet this beautiful woman, my mothers' sister. As an adult I never got to share with her as a woman to woman.

It's funny how when people are not in your daily life sometimes the feeling of their existence fades away. It takes work for friends and families to stay connected. It takes effort and committment for both parties to continue to share with one another.

I do have fond memories of her though as a child. Childhood memories always stay with you especially if they are good. I remember her big smile and how she always made an effort to talk to me amongst all those family members. What I especially remember is how she looked so much like my mother. They had the same disposition in life. They did for their families and for other people. Her beautiful family is a testimony to her character.

I'm sad for my mother and for her husband and her children and grandchildren. I'm sad for all her sisters and brothers. I'm sad because this world lost a beautiful lady, my Aunt Pat.

Life is so fragile. I always tell my children never to go to bed mad or go to school without telling the most important people in your life that you love them. You never know when you will see them again.

Death can be beautiful too. It's beauty is knowing that Aunt Pat was a loving Christian woman who finally gets to meet God. She is being raised to new life with Christ. All of God's hard work by transforming my Aunt Pat to be his servant and Aunt Pat allowing him to work through her gained her a spot in heaven.

John 11:25 Jesus told her,"I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die like everyone else, will live again. "

Tulips are my favorite flower and purple is my favorite color. These flowers are for you Aunt Pat. I Love You.

The line...............

The line is straight, black and bold and I love this line. Some may say this path leads no where except back and forth from one wall to the other, but I would differ. I like this line very much. It takes me in various directions even though the obvious would seem that it goes straight to the wall. So tonight we finally got some cold weather. It was 45 degrees outside and I just couldn't wait to jump in the water. I got in the hot tub first to warm my blood and then I took the plunge. It was more than invigorating, it was like a breath of fresh air even though the cool weather takes your breath away. Most swimmers would probably agree that it is refreshing. Last year it was quite an experience swimming outside during the winter especially when it was sleeting and snowing.

Sometimes the line can be intimidating. There are different sayings like, "don't cross that line with me ", the race begins "behind that line", park "between the lines" or "read between the lines", while driving "don't cross over the double yellow line", "color between the lines" or just plain "sign your name on the line". Lines, Lines, Lines.......

The big, black line that I follow each day is necessary while swimming because it guides me to the end so I will know when to turn. It may sound silly but that black line is really important. It is rhythmic like the stroke you take, the breaths you breathe and the kicks that help propel you into motion.

Each day when I swim my line takes me to my destination. I pray while I swim. I pray as I hear the water churning and the bubbles swishing to and fro and I pray and pray and pray with each stroke I take I talk to God. It is a good place to listen to God too. There are no distractions, just God and me. Talking, laughing, crying, learning and just being there with Him. He has my undivided attention. It is our time.

A journey, path, destination, a bountiful of love is what God has to offer us if we choose to follow that line or path towards him in an intimate relationship with Him. It is all about making time, sacrificing our wants and needs for something ultimately better than what we may think is more important. We have to choose to cross that line towards God, to make that line a journey towards Him, a beautiful friendship.

Crossing the line towards God is necessary for our ultimate salvation. We receive grace, mercy and joy by knowing Him.

We all have to cross, follow or draw the line somewhere. Why not take the plunge and cross over to Him?

My big black line..........

He gave us wings...........

He gave us wings..... This weekend my son was finishing a science project and he had to collect 35 items, one of which was a butterfly. I had no problem collecting the spider or pine cone, but when we got the to butterfly I just couldn't take that butterfly net and swish it into the air to bring it to its' death. I have hundreds of butterflies in my front yard and to capture one wouldn't seem to significant in the decrease of the butterfly population, but that was entirely the opposite of my thinking. I thought how and why could anyone want to kill one of God's loveliest creatures even if it was for the sake of science? I was mesmerized watching these glittering butterflies land to and fro from the home in which they had acquired in my Lantanas.

On a good note, my son and I found a dead butterfly on the ground at the bottom of the flowers so one more butterfly was spared that day by us.

My dad used to say something to fact that "I gave you wings, now use them". In other words, think for yourself and explore or grow up..... I always thought that was a good saying because it gave me a feeling that he trusted me and wanted me to think for myself so I wouldn't be so dependent on him. Some days as an adult I wish I could still be under his wings, to go back to that special place.

It is just the opposite thought with our Heavenly Father. Living in dependence on Him is the way to enjoy abundant life. He is our strength and he takes pleasure in letting us lean on Him. It gives us a closeness with him in our reliance upon Him and when we make him a constant and primary focus throughout our day we can we can do most anything. We have a tendency to turn our focus away from Him when we are with other people, but by simply whispering His name we will bring Him back into the forefront of our consciousness.

When we rely on Him totally our whole perspective changes and we see constant miracles all around us. When we lift our eyes to see Him and feel Him we become one in Him and He in us. We would not want us to be independent of Him.

Maybe our earthly father new that we needed to take those wings and fly towards our heavenly Father. Two wise men guiding and guarding me through life. How blessed am I?

Take those wings and fly............soar into His presence, for in this journey of flight you will truly find your path of life.

STUFF AND MORE STUFF

I am embarassed, so embarassed to have my garage doors opened especially when the stuff inside is visible to people who drive by and could possibly take a glance at the mess. I always keep them closed. A couple of years ago I decided I was going to simplify. I moved into a smaller home, sold rooms of furniture, smaller yard and less stuff to occupy my time.

Today I decided it was time to finish what I started several years ago. All the stuff that couldn't fit in my smaller home had to go, to go somewhere else. I put my gloves and hat on and braved the big concrete floors filled with items that have no current purpose. I worked 8 hours on that garage and when finished I was able to pull in one car and could comfortably walk around the car and look at all the stuff that I decided just couldn't be donated.

I had a broken dishwasher that I have failed to have picked up, a broken bookshelf, dog house, 9 bikes (only 6 in the family), 5 boxes of clothes that don't fit my family (I keep adding to it as the season changes), Kitchen table, 6 chairs, yard items, and of course all the seasonal boxes that included Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter and all the toys that I refuse to give away because they hold to many memories. Then there is the work bench, tool boxes, wrapping paper, and who knows what else.

All of this stuff, some given away, some resorted and organized kept me busy for 8 solid hours. On occasion I threw a ball into the pool and watched my dog jump in and seize it with pride. This was my most pleasurable activity all day. You can't just throw that ball once, it's a game that is played over and over again.

Our stuff sometimes holds many memories of where we have been and maybe where we want to go. I have a box of my favorite art supplies. I stash them there so on occassion I can pull them out and paint or draw and be mindless for several hours. It's stuff and it's mine, yours, and it can be very consuming like it was for me today.

Every time I read the verse in the Bible about Jesus telling the young man to go and sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven; then come and follow me." Mt 19:21 I think really hard about this parable. I ask myself everyday "am I doing enough to serve Him?" Do I cling to the stuff more than I should or do I really just use this stuff for convience of time. I think about the people who have lost their belongings or home to fires or natural disasters. I believe in a situation like that if my loved ones are spared the stuff wouldn't really matter. But I have never had that happen and my heart hurts for them. Sadness.

Once again, I learned that the stuff today that consumed me in the past has consumed me once again. This stuff is not filling us up with happiness, it is just taking our time away from God. It becomes all consuming instead we should be filling ourselves up with God. We keep looking for that happy pill and people are finding it temporarily in stuff when God is always there waiting patiently to hold our hands, tell us a story and love us like he loved us the day he made us.

Tomorrow is Sunday and I think I am going to relax and enjoy God's day and forget about all this stuff.

Blue Ribbon

After last week I do not believe I am in the running for the "Mother of Year" award. After totaling all of my dreadful mishaps of forgetting birthdays and forgetting to pick up 5 children from car pool (I actually pretended I was stuck in traffic), I believe the conclusion on this taunting task of maintaining in the top 10 is all over.

My most recent memorable incident which did not qualify me for this prestigious award was an incident that I encountered with my youngest daughter. It goes like this.....

Packing lunch for the four children has been fairly easy, so easy that it has almost becomes rote, like an assembly line inserting the standard PB&J sandwich, fruit, chips and drink into their lunches. On occassion I would put in a ham and cheese only for it to be returned gone bad. You now the drill, the ole' standard packed lunch, right?

Just recently I noticed a piece of paper and pen by the lunch box. I ignored it and moved on to my lunch packing. The next day again, the piece of paper and pen appeared. "Okay" I said, "What is with the paper and pen?" My little girl said "mom, I'm the only one at my lunch table that doesn't get a love note in their lunch box. Would you please write something on it to me? At that particular moment in one of my ordinary days I just about tripped over my heart because it was on the floor. The standard lunch has never required a note. It is now kind of like a happy meal except no toy, just note. No extra charge.

This little request from my daughter makes me reflect on the motherhood of my grandmother who had two handfuls of children and the sacraifice she made for her children out of love. It also makes me reflect on Mary, Jesus' mother. Did Mary ever feel she let Jesus down? What about the time she lost him when he wandered off and she had to go searching for him. Do you think she felt like she should get mother of the year? We are all human just loving one another under the best circumstances. Mary lost Jesus for a short while. What if we lost Jesus for a short while in terms of not having him in our daily life?

Jesus gets me through my day as he comforts me, protects me, listens and he carries me when I can't walk all the while, always loving me. Our children love us unconditionally as Jesus does with arms wide open always ready to embrace us.

In my ordinary day my motherhood was challenged as Mary was challenged to protect and love her son so he could protect and love us. Mary's job was not ordinary, it was extraordinary and I believe the 1st place ribbon goes to Mary.

As for lunch, my daughter is going to get an extraordinary note of love.

The apple.............

It all started with the apple..........

You know the story, Adam and Eve and their idea of doing it "their way" and then playing the "blame game". Everybody knows how that game works as I'm sure we have all played it at some point in our lives. However, you would think we would learn the rules to know that the game of blame never pans out. Here we go again, accepting our own reality.....That word ACCEPT sometimes gets on my nerves.

I really like apples and I try to eat one once a day. I have played that game many times too and yet I too have not learned the end result of blaming because I tend like most of us to think that the situation is not always created by ourselves, we only respond to it because we have no other choice. NOT TRUE!!!!!

The given reality is in fact we were given a choice, a free will, as you would say, by our Father to choose right from wrong. So, if the going gets tough and events go not as planned it is probably due to the choices made along the way that presented themselves to us and how we responded to them.

I admit there are certain unforeseeable events that take place in our lives that were not our choice, for instance, disease, natural disasters and the like. But our daily comings and goings are all but a way in which we chose to extend ourselves to people and events.

I try to teach this concept to my children and it sometimes works with children, at least I have had success, but the concept is something you can not teach them when they are adults. It is their decision. They have to own this concept and we as parents will not always be there constantly guiding and persuading them to say "NO" to something that they are saying "YES" to because it is ultimately "THEIR" choice. Parents have an influence their children's daily choices and we carry hope that one day they will take our insight and use it during their adult lives. Hence, I said "THEIR" adult lives (it is not ours once they are adults). It is very hard to let go of them and their choices, but we have to let go. We have to let them go so they can rely on God.

A good note; we will always be their parents, loving, guiding and helping them with the decisions they have made, good or bad, and supporting them to get them back on track to making good decisions. What we really want is to have them all happy. It is hard to see our adult children make unnecessary detours in their lives and it is very hard to support them when what we really want to say is "I told you so!

"

Lets think back how many times our heavenly Father has supported us and how he keeps taking us back. Could we ever be so forgiving and loving as a parent?

Adam and Eve made a mistake. They paid for their mistake as they were never to enter the garden again. They disappointed their Father and they had to face the consequence. Even though Eve tried to blame the serpent and Adam blamed Eve the whole apple thing was their choice.

Our Father has taught us this lesson to use in our daily lives. He wants us to be close to him so we will know what he wants and ultimately be a servant of his. If we come to know him in an intimate fashion then we will also know that he will never leave our side, always guarding and guiding us towards him.

Have an apple today..................... but lead us not into temptation.

St. Francis

St. Francis of Assi.......... Feast Day October 4th

I am a little late for the feast day but, my blog yesterday began to make me think about creatures, and I immediately started thinking about St. Francis. He is of course considered to be the patron saint for animals and it is well-documented that he had an unwavering love for all of God's creatures. I have this statue in my front yard as you walk up into my house or leave it which ever comes first. The statue is a reminder to me of the simplicity of life, a life in which St. Francis chose to eventually lead and one in which I yearn for in my life today. I mean who actually yearns for and plans for a very complicated, busy and stressful life? Sometimes the life of calm turns into the very opposite. The hallmarks of our life become celebrated by and through our accomplishments rather than the calm within or the mere celebration of just being.

St. Francis made a committment to become an example for Christ. It was not easy then, nor is it now but, God is ever present today and his work is ever so needed in today's world where there is poverty, bloodshed and disaster.

To simplify is to serve each other in love, through love and for the love of God. Simply stated, simply lived, simply simplified, by and by through the life of Christ. Our lives should be so simple that our love of Christ radiates and is an expression of Christian love through our thoughts, words and deeds. Living the life of Chrisitan love is an expression that is celebrated in the total self giving of ourselves, of just being.

I try to consciously thank God everyday for at least 5 different things and or people each day. When I started to do this it was easy until I used up all those things that we thank God for in our OWN little worlds. Once we move out of our world and into the world of others we not only find many ways to give thanks but we also find God in the most unusual places, for instance, our dogs (see previous blog).

In the spirit of joy, laughter, forgiveness and love let us all try to simplify our lives so we can have time to see Christ in the many faces and places that we encounter each day.

Simply put......

CALLING ALL DOG LOVERS.........

Sometimes I think I have lost my marbles, literally lost many along the pathway of life. Of course my acknowledgement to this statement is probably accepting the true fact that I am aging. We are all aging everyday so does it have to be a certain age that you are considered "over the hill". Remember, acceptance is the key here to the gifts we receive and how we respond to these gifts. So, in my dementia, if I can remember correctly, I live in a home with six people, three dogs, and two birds. The people that love and know me best know that it just all balances out in its' own way. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way but it really does.

The other morning (when I mean morning, I mean 5:00a.m.) I was in the car with my dog and son and I turned my windshield wipers on because of the the light drizzle and my dog started chasing them back and forth. Yes, I almost wrecked but that one moment gave me joy all day.

These little moments of laughter sustain me. These moments sustain me when my dogs eat my shoes or destroy objects of mine in so much that I become inflamed, irate, cross and or agitated. They sustain me when my children argue or become disrespectful or when there is some form of disagreement in the home.

There will always be a little bit of bad with the good. It is never perfect. That is how we grow, change, develop, and in a way, become better people.

These little furry creatures or big if you will, are life lessons for me and my children. They are gifts, blessings and sometimes a big pain in the backside, if you know what I mean. We wake up and learn to love and forgive all over again. Our dogs love us unconditionally many times over. It's amazing how much they love us. They forgive and forget. I believe this world would be so much better off if we lived the lives of dogs. Sound crazy? But, maybe these furry gifts are life lessons for us to take us on our journey each day. I know that in the evening after a long day I just want to sit and pet my dog because I know he will welcome the rub on the neck and love me back with no questions asked.

In the transformation of forgiving we learn to love again. We are transformed with strength, sacrifice and humility and our souls are spiritually renewed.

Dogs or not, children, friends, family..... laughter sustains, forgiviness transforms.

Have a good laugh today and enjoy.

Doors

I have a thing about doors. They are to be opened, closed or purposely ajarred. Some doors are drab, colorful, decorated by season, weathered or new, all of which bring us to their purpose, to be opened.

These doors open opportunities for each of us. Family, devotion, friendship, income, everywhere we go there is a door. How we embrace what we encounter once that door is opened can determine many things, fear, sadness, joy, peace, and many other emotions.

This door found on a recent journey reminded me that my door needed to be renewed. The renewal is not just the outer part but what lies within once opened.

We move from one task to another sometimes not recognizing the task at hand; ourselves. We figure as long as everything and everybody else are okay, so to speak, we are doing okay. What do we do if there is a crisis? I would like to think we are all on the same journey, trying to understand and or accept what God has put before us. To love and to identify with others, hold a common earthly and heavenly reality that we are all one, one on this earth to love and to serve each other and to attain eternal life.

How we embrace our families each day, our co-workers, friends and our God by opening the door with acceptance is and will be our reality on how we live out our life. Acceptance in love, humility, and charity to those around us near and far will be how we take care of ourselves. I know that I need to take care of me so I may lovingly take care of those inside the doors.

I will continue to take pictures of doors and each time think about what each journey I will be on once that door is opened.

Prayer Stories

The purpose of my prayer stories is simply a time for me to reflect on experiences in my life and to share them through my writing while praying. As I reflect about the past, present and future,  I attempt to see how I experience God in my day.  Enjoy