Love me!

Look at that face. Do you see sadness? Do you see despair?? Do you see loneliness and loss of hope??

Christmas morning our family of six woke up and put on our warm old clothes and rubber boots and grabbed bags of dog treats, leashes and poop bags and headed toward the animal shelter. That's right, the animal shelter on Christmas morning is where we ended up instead of on the sofa all cuddled up together to open presents. Last year we didn't go but, the year before we spend 6 hours cleaning kennels, watering, feeding and walking dogs. My kids loved it and I know the dogs did too.

This Christmas morning we spent about three hours at the animal shelter and walked over 40 dogs between the six of us. We weren't the only ones there. There were many couples and single persons doing the same thing we were doing and as we walked we talked among ourselves realizing that we came together on this special day to honor the lost and lonely ones.

My heart remains there even after several days have passed. On occasion my children go over there to walk dogs when the homework is scarce. It is their way of giving back to the less fortunate, and dogs can become less fortunate too.

My mind is on the old dogs that have been surrendered by their owners. I am so gentle with all of them but, my heart goes out to those old ones. They aren't as cute as the puppies nor do they show as much "get up and go" as the little ones either. They were once content on a sofa with their special people and for some reason or another they ended up in a steel cage. It's sad to try to imagine what their little minds are thinking. They are scared and lonely for people affection.

So we walked them and sat down and let them crawl onto our lap and snuggle. They don't even know us and they just want to be held and loved. It is an amazing sight to watch them when we arrive at their cage. Their tails start wagging and the love starts overflowing. All they do here on earth is to serve us human beings and in such an amazing loyal way. Then their final destination is a metal cage when we are done with them or drop them off on a highway or farm with hopes that someone will pick them up and care for them.

God serves us daily. He is in our lives daily always ready to love us, serve us and guide us. Some of us befriend him daily and other only use him on occasion when things aren't going quite the way we would like but, God is always ready to step up and love us and help us again, kind of like a dog.

When I look at the dog I see God in their eyes, not only because they are God's creatures but, because they have a heart of Gold. Always loving, always present, always ready to be there for us when needed his abiding love.

It is sad that we dismiss our animals the way we do in this world. It is sad that we take advantage of God's creatures and even dismiss one another. We have become creatures of habit dismissing and choosing what we need when we need it out of the sake of convenience.

When we arrived home that morning the presents didn't seem as important as they did when they were making their wish list. The filled stockings remained filled as we gathered around the table and ate breakfast and talked about our special friends and the moments that we shared with them that morning. Nothing else seemed important.

Our achey backs due to the tugging and pulling on the lease by these excited little animals are a reminder today of the time well spent.

Got a moment, feeling lonely, need a hug? Visit your local animal shelter and let the love begin. Ruff, Ruff

A Flake

My daughter just called me a "flake". I told her I was going to blog about her comment. She just laughed. I told her I was going to take that comment as a compliment. Just think, we are all flakes or maybe like flakes. We are orginal, no two alike, different personalities, different appearances, some glitter, some melt. I would hope that I glitter in her eyes.

Well, I do not believe my daughter meant that I was a snowflake but a flake, you know, the one who cops out on you when someone is expecting you to do something. Me, cop out???? Maybe her expectations are to high. Maybe she is a flake???

Back to the snowflake...... or the expectations..... We all have expectations of one another. We all try to live up to expectations and some of us fail and some of us succeed. What are expectations?? Why do we have them??? I believe the defination of expectation is the product of the probability of the occurrence of an event and the value associated with the occurence of the given event, or basically my definition of the word, not living up to someones request.

Almost daily I fail in this department. I have four children. They are all different, thank you God. Couldn't imagine life with them being all the same. Every day one of them gets upset with me about one thing or another. Some days I am lucky and all four of them plan their expectations all on one day so I can let them all down on the same day. Every feel that way yourself???

We don't do it on purpose, I mean, let them down. It just happens. Who wants to make their kids unhappy on purpose? I feel I am just one against them all. I know that doesn't sound right but, that is how I feel on those impossible days. I have had a lot of them lately. I am just not glittering in their eyes lately either.

They want to go on a journey tomorrow. You know how you plan events only to no avail it doesn't go as planned? It never does at least in my household because there are too many of us with all different kinds of expectations. There goes that word again, EXPECTATION!

When I let my kids down I think really hard about how I can make it up to them only to let myself down because I set myself up with an expectation that my efforts will be accepted as I expected them to be recieved.

Oh, this is exhausting.....you know, the expectations.

So, as always I try to relate this to what my Lord thought. He probably was thinking "you humans, you just do not get it. " That is what I want to tell my kids.... "You kids, just don't get it...." I am sure he was as frustrated at us as we are with our children. The stories that he told and we just didn't get it till later. Maybe my kids will "get it" later. But, what about now? How do I glisten in their eyes? How do I let them know that aside from all the expectations that I love them and I want to glisten in their eyes?

I want to be a beautiful snowflake, one that never melts in the eyes of my children.

Life is full of expectations, disappointments, and snowflakes....

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow................

The Christmas letter....

Here it is, the paper, the empty spaces of font and letters and sentences and paragraphs. I am disappointed in myself. I didn't get the annual Christmas letter out to my family and friends on the update of my family. I go through this ritual every year. I write and hope that it gets read by at least a few so my efforts do not go unnoticed and I at least hope that they enjoy the picture that I include with the update. Didn't do it. Don't know if I will. Maybe a New Years letter instead.

Why do we go through the motions? Why not pick up the phone and call? That would take to long, to much effort, to personal????? I don't know, maybe it is just easier in this very busy season to forgo the letter. Friends, family, we want them to know about us, to know we exist, to know where we have been and where we are going..... don't we???

I think I write so I can reflect on our blessings and I want to share them with the ones I love. Some call the "Christmas letter" a "brag letter". I don't think of it that way and as a matter of fact, I received a letter from a friend that I had not spoken to in about a year and I stopped dead in my tracts to read it. I was so excited. I think I will call her.

Maybe I'll get some phone calls if I send out this New Years letter. Who knows. I have to type it first. I better get busy.

How do I narrow down what has happened in the life of six people in just one typed page? It is getting harder and harder each year. I think that is why I have put it off.

I read the Bible, the letters, the stories.... Letters date back, way back. They are important and the events remain a vital part of our history, our present and our future. I know my letters are just that; letters. But they help us all feel connected to one another, a place, a time and a love that we share in friendship with friends and family. We learn from each other in our joys, trials and in our ordinary, mundane lives.

These stories in the bible are living stories as is yours and mine.

We all have a story.

Check your mailbox soon......

Presents

Christmas lists......where did this come from and when? Do we use Christmas as an excuse to get what we want? Okay, do you sense a little frustration on my part? If not, well, there is some frustration. As a child I remember sitting on Santa's lap asking for paper dolls, you know the ones that you cut out of a magazine. My mom wouldn't buy the magazine subscription because it was too expensive, so we got the hand me downs from neighbors. If we were lucky, we got the ones from families that didn't have children so the paper dolls were still in tact.

I don't remember providing my mom and dad with a huge list....I knew they would do their best to provide what they thought we needed and I never remember being disappointed. Never!!! My memories were far from disappointment. I really don't even remember the toys, with the exception of my "tubsy doll", but I do remember the memories leading up to that special day.

The real memories lies within the family gathering on Christmas Eve, popping pop corn, staying up late, going to midnight mass and laying out cookies and milk for Santa. I also remember having my grandparents staying the night on Christmas Eve. That was the most special event I remember.

Back to the lists..... I don't want to "bash" my kids or yours but enough is enough with the lists. Prior to Christmas I told my children to just go buy what they wanted and hand me the receipts. They could even wrap them if they wanted, as that would be less work for me. I mean where is the joy if you are told what to buy them and then you wrap it up for them to unwrap and then they are not even surprised??? Something is messed up here in this scenario. Yeah, I'm sure we have all done it, gave in to our kids request hoping to be that special parent. It really doesn't work because their list just keeps getting bigger and the meaning of Christmas is lost in the list.

This is the 28th of December, Christmas has passed, but I ponder on whether or not if they have pondered what it all really means, you know, Christmas and the gift.

The wisemen followed a star that lead them to the newborn king, baby Jesus. They presented him with gifts of love. There was no list involved from Jesus. Their gift was just love. Love is the biggest gift next to time. Does there need to be any other gift?

The time I spent with my family as a child are the memories that I keep not the toys that I received because those "things" are all but forgotten. The laughter or joy my parents gifted me with when I was young remains.

"They went into the house, and when they saw the child with his mother Mary, they knelt down and worshiped him. They brought out their gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, and presented them to him." Mt. 2:11

I gave my children gifts of love this Christmas, even though it seemed like it was a "made to order Christmas". We did our special traditions that hopefully they will remember when they get older.

Merry Christmas to you all!!

QUESTIONS ?????????

This morning as usual I am scurrying around the house trying to get ready so I can be at work on time, all the while my family members ask; "will you put a pig tail in my hair", "where are my socks", "did you sign my folder", "what about the choir note", "hey mom, the winter celebration form is due", "I need money for the general teacher fund for a Christmas present", "mom have you seen my other shoe", "by the way wife, what do you want for dinner tonight", "are you working out after work", "are there any pancakes left over", "what time is it", and "mom is the bus here yet?" Mom, Mom, Mom.......!!!!!

I wanted to turn the volume down this morning and these questions were only from two of my four children plus husband.

Silence......tick, tick, tick.

I don't wish the questions away but sometimes I just want to turn on the music and tune everyone out and have no interruptions. just sometimes. It's ridiculous that I have to get up 3 1/2 hours before I am even to be at work. I literally have almost had a half day of work before I even start my other job. The good news is that I know I am not alone in this dilemma.

Peace, Peace, Peace.......

I know it will all come in time, peace that is, but will I be ready? Will I be ready to let go of my children as they turn into adults and start a life of their own. Will I enjoy the silence, peace and lack of interruptions when they are all gone? The non-stop demands that fill our days sometimes makes it hard to find God in all this busyness. I try to call His name when I get my 3rd, 4th and 5th request in the morning so I do no respond in anger and loose God in my morning. I try to find Him in each request. Sometimes I look up and say "Really God? You are bothering me for that?"

I have a question.

Will we be ready?

Ready for what?

Ready to be with God in all the silence? Will we know him then if we don't come to know him now in all the distractions?

Who is ever really ready? We think we can plan for all that life has to offer, like money in the bank for a rainy day, preventative health care for good health in our elder years, and on and on. But does life ever turn out as we plan? Are we prepared to accept the alternative course of our path in life? Are we willing to accept that just maybe we are not actually in control?

Just maybe we should get to know God in our distractions. He wants us to find him in the busyness of our day, in the silence of an empty nest. HE JUST WANTS US!

The more we are aware of Him, the better we can embrace him through our distractions by repeating His name over and over. My interruptions are conversations with God.

Jesus tells us "I am the bread of life," "Those who come to me will never be hungry; those who believe in me will never be thirsty. John 6: 35 "I will never turn away anyone who comes to me because I have come down from heaven to do not my own will but the will of him who sent me. John 6: 37-38

I echo His name each morning as I answer those questions by my family and as I echo His name we have conversation as he helps prepare me for my day.

He never turns me away.

This is it, the tree, the leaning tower of limbs. We got a little carried away with putting all the ornaments on one side. We had to reorganized several times. I think it is good enough as long as the dogs do not get to happy and wag their tail.

This tree sets the stage for my children, young and old, they all react the same way, excited. They get so excited to decorate the tree. It doesn't matter their age to see the pure joy they have in their hearts when that tree comes out of the box.

I sometimes wish we were able to have a real evergreen tree versus an artificial, however I think I will take the fake over reaction to allergies anytime. The scent of the fragrant piney needles brings spirited memories, one of which I miss.

My children will not have the memory of a real tree, but they will have the memory of receiving a package each year around the third week of December from their grandfather.

This endearing man, my father, makes each grandchild a stain glass ornament. He designs each ornament based on the personality of the child, draws the design, cuts the glass, and assemblies the ornament into a magnificent sight. Once the child turns 18 they receive their final ornament. If I count correctly, he has to date made 114 ornaments of love.

The excitement and joy of beginning Advent starts with fond memories of their grandmother and grandfather. We share stories until we are laughing silly. My children talk about each ornament as decorate the tree, remembering when they got it and what was happening at that time in their life.

They reflect..........I reflect..........we begin Advent.

The season changes, our dispositions change, we restore what we know which is forgiveness, compassion, courtesy, happiness and a longing of a vision of what God wants for each of us. We begin the transformation of ourselves into the messenger of hope and love for the world. We don't dwell on the "can't but on the "can's" because we allow God to be ever present by the constant reminder of that tree and the love that decorates it.

So the tree is the sign for my children wrapped in ornaments of love. The shepherds were told by an angel that "this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." Luke 2:12 They searched and did not give up hope until they found the Messiah.

We search, we wait, until our savior is born.