Birds eye view

Up, looking down....or down looking up....a birds eye view. Sometimes, and I mean sometimes, I wish I were a bird. I only wish this for the view. It's got to be beautiful way up there looking down. I am petrified of heights. Actually, I am glad God made me a human with two legs to walk on the earth. Every now and then some of us get the opportunity to fly in an airplane and see these breathtaking earth forms. We're still not birds. They get to do this constantly as they move about during their days and nights.

I like to watch people. I could drive to a mall or baseball/football stadium, a park and sit and watch people all day. I don't do this, but on occasion when I am tired of shopping or doing whatever I am doing, I sit and watch. I watch how people interact, how they dress, how they walk, their expressions, their body figures and I wonder if they are happy and I wonder if I would have anything in common with those strangers.

I sat at a swim meet yesterday. I sat with my daughter and we played checkers, read books ate popcorn and I watched people. I watched people greeting other people, yelling with passion for their children in a race, looking intently at their children's times and I watched the children on deck preparing for a swim, swimming, getting out and being greeted by their team mates for a job well done. People interacting in a fond, enthusiastic, spirited way with each other for 5 hours.

We all do it and sometimes we don't realize it, but we judge. There are times we let our minds wonder and we find ourselves judging others compared to ourselves. We may think "that person needs to change their fashion statement", or "I'll never let myself get that large in size." Maybe we don't intend to do any judging, but at one point in our lives we began noticing with our eyes our differences. It is a beautiful thing, our differences. What is not beautiful is when the eye of the beholder diminishes the beauty of the person. It sometimes can become a terrible habit. Habits are hard to change, but change is good. This habit becomes a transgression that does not create a positive feeling and specifically creates negative energy.

As I watched people yesterday, I tried to find one beautiful feature about each person I focused my eyes on for that moment. It is a practice that takes time and a constant reminder to ourselves that we each have an inner and outer beauty created by our God. This practice can in fact rid us of old habits that we might possess and have incurred over time. This method can become very endearing as we find beauty in one another.

Keeping focus on God daily, bringing our thoughts to him when our mind starts to wander or judge and allow God to take charge. Lasso those thoughts and offer them up. Be a bird and only see the beauty of God's creation. Soar to heights never discovered before by letting God take the lead and allow Him to show us the beauty within. Judgmental thoughts will be washed away as we allow His perfect grace and magnificent peace rest within us.

"Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you. Give to others, and God will give to you. Indeed, you will receive a full measure, a generous helping, poured into your hands-all that you can hold. The measure you use for others is the one that God will use for you." Luke 6:37-38

We will eventually find a commonality with these strangers and our view, like that of the birds, will become unquestionably breathtaking from our own eye's view, not from a mountain top but from the ground in which our feet walk.

Take flight, let your wings soar and your eyes fixate on the beauty of each other, God's creation.

Captivating Captives

I went and did some errands today and after completing those errands somehow I ended up at the zoo. Talk about being spontaneous!!! Usually I have my list and I go from number one at the top of my list to the bottom. I usually do not go out of order as when making this list and organize my time to the minute..... sometimes..... Today took an usual turn at the zoo. I took some pictures of my favorite animals to share. This little guy, the meerkat looked so cute and innocent until someone threw some potato chips inside his area and then he got "all up in arms" and would not let his 10 other friends join in the feast. He needs to learn to share. I just wanted to pull him out of there for being such a bully. He made a fool of himself and almost did not get his picture in my blog for this needless behavior.

A Masai Giraffe showed her spots today for all to see. She had a grand appearance. Her height gave her the look of superior confidence.

Ankole Cattle look fierce but they were just head to head eating hay. Thought the picture was majestic, though. I turned it black and white so you could focus on their eyes.

I proceeded to take a picture of a paw from a Grizzly bear because the bear itself looked dead as it was lying in a deep sleep. The paw was more interesting anyway!

Then of course, the cheetah. The fast, smooth, silky looking fur of this creature made me want to climb into the cage and pet it. I didn't, of course!

This Giant Elant had the most beautiful horns. I think horns is what you call them. Hope I am not making to much of a fool of myself.

The good ole' zebra with its' un-flawed stripes. You can never go wrong with a zebra picture. My daughter wants me to enlarge this picture so she can put it on her wall. I don't know if zebras coordinate with red and yellow flowers, oh well, who cares??? She loves it, right?

I always wonder how the flamingos can stand on one leg with such great ease. Their formal name is the "Chilean Flamingo". I think these are most especially beautiful. They have such grace about themselves. The flamingo reminds me of a ballerina.

The Chilean Flamingo's colors were such a vibrant orange. I don't know if I care about all the bird poo on the ground.

The California Sea Lions seemed to swim into circles. I wonder if they get dizzy. There were three of them and they did these figure eights constantly. It was kind of sad.

I don't know this little birds formal name, but of all the animals here, I love this little bird the best. It had character and charm and I think the setting of this bird was most perfect.

I wanted you to see the beauty of these animals and I wished I could say I took these pictures in the wild in their own habitat, just not the case though.

They are captives of the zoo, held hostage behind glass windows, screens, bars or valleys of concrete filled with water for those that don't swim. By the end of my visit, my head was hanging low with sadness. I wish they could be set free. Maybe they are free because they are there. Maybe this is their second chance at life by being fed, housed and healed.

Captive: a prisoner, enslaved, dominated, confined.

I started thinking about their captivity and although their captivity is very visual, how often than not are we ourselves captives too? We can become captives to food, cell phones, clothing, cars, stuff that fills homes, drugs, alcohol, gossip and the list goes on.

We sometimes remain captive to our vices throughout our lifetime continually relying on them for an artificial happiness.

The Israelites were captives and through Pharaoh's refusal to set them free, God intervened through his powerful,miraculous way and liberated them. It took time, faith and perseverance.

Finding joy in the midst of distress. Don't worry, be happy, a song that use to be played over and over again on the radio, finally got the attention of the listeners. This song needs to be played again over and over so we will once again 'get it'.

Hunger or plenty, wealth or want, abundance or poverty are situations in which we can derive our strength from our Lord. We can remain captive or get strength from our God to strive for holiness. Holiness is in short being obedient, obedient to God. God 's abundance love for us and his desire for us to be happy is just that, a mystery. How we respond to this mystery is the key to our freedom from captivity.

Being the person that God created, loving what you do forces us out of being inhabitants of this captivity. If we do not respond to God's call we will self destruct and swim in circles like the California Sea Lions.

In the Old Testament, Leviticus 18 and 19 'I am the Lord' appears 21 times. Various rules of conduct are mentioned here to Moses and the whole Israelite community. The Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the whole Israelite community and tell them: Be holy, for I, the Lord, your God. am holy." Leviticus 19:1-2 "Do not turn aside to idols, nor make molten gods for yourselves. I, the Lord, am your God. Leviticus 19:4

God wants us to be holy and know that he is God. He does not want us to be captive to idols.

Noah and the animals became captive on an arch for a short while, but they listened to God's call and they were set free. Wanting anything other than God will set a course for us to be strickened with unhappiness and to be captives of misery and unfulfillment.

Don't worry, be happy, unless of course you see animals lining up 2 x 2.

Squirrel Tail

These are my three beautiful children, from left to right, Hannah, Wendy Anne, and Millie. They all have nicknames too, along with personalities. For those of you that are not dog lovers, you need to go get a dog and your mindset will change immediately from disinterested to an absolute affection towards the dog population. For those of you that are cat lovers, well, I loved cats once upon a time and have had many (my affection still exists for them) however, I now own three dogs not three cats and well, you get the idea......

Hannah is a mom ma's girl. She goes everywhere I go and is the most affection of all of them. She is also the most passive of all three dogs. She is very intuitive and because of this intuitiveness she is also very emotional. I know you are thinking, enough of this blog, time to move on, but if you will lend me your ear, I think I am on to something a little bit deeper. She is the middle child of the three always trying to find her spot in life.

Wendy Anne is the first animal of the three. She is always right, cares for the younger ones, even though she is the smallest of the three and makes sure everything is fair. She is focused and dominate of all three dogs. She is the fastest, jumps the highest and kills the most rodents. We are proud of Wendy Anne.

Millie, the last to be added to the pack is the most spoiled. She is ill behaved, gets away with murder, jumps and is always trying to get the affection of anyone in sight. Everyone makes excuses for her behavior and has been recently labeled the "demon dog" but only for her mischievous actions, otherwise she is a kind dog.

Hannah is determined to be loved, Wendy Anne is determined to be the mom, and Millie is.....well, we are not quite sure about Millie.

Why the blog about dogs? Well, they win the award on earth for being the most loyal animals . They are our companions in life, mans best friends or maybe we should say, women's best friend. We rely on them and they on us in different ways, mostly companionship.

The other day I opened my son's bedroom window to get his room aired out, a room closed up for the winter with wet swim bags, stinky shoes and a dog that loves his bed makes for an unpleasant smell. So needless to say, I opened the window and walked to the other side of the room. Wendy Anne started barking unceasingly.

I knew that bark, the squirrel tail bark.

She is so focused on killing out the population of squirrels that even a window barrier is not going to stop her. I made it just in time. The flicker of the tail hanging from the tree just outside the window was taunting Wendy Anne. I am sure the squirrels at our house do this on purpose and I am sure they know her name by now because we yell at her enough when all the racket of barking goes on when the squirrels come to visit.

She charged at the window, broke through the screen and I caught her by her back feet. She was hanging out the window by her feet barking at the squirrel and I am most certain cussing at them in dog language. I pulled her back in, closed the window and started laughing. The room still stinks!!

Personalities of determination. Human, dogs. Dogs, human. We all have it, determination that is. We use it in different ways. Some are determined to chase squirrel tails for instance and some of us are are determined to be successful in our jobs while others well, may be determined to lay on the couch. That's okay if it is okay for you....

God created desire within us as a means of expressing ourselves. Determination is healthy and good. Sometimes we just have to ask our Heavenly Father for what we need and accept his blessings when he thinks we need them.

God appeared to Solomon..."That night the Lord appeared to him in a dream and asked him, "what would you like me to give you?" 1 Kings 3:5 (please read the text about Solomon)

Do we ask, are we to determined to get something at all costs even when the timing is not right or if it is not in the best interest of all? Wendy Anne I'm sure is just impulsive and doesn't pray, how could she, right? She's a dog!!! But we on the other hand, we read, write, do arithmetic, we're smart, we're human. Do we ask? Do we ask God for what we need, not only out of desire but out of determination to possibly make a change, a change for the good? Once we ask, do we allow God to take control of our plea and accept his response?

I don't know about you, but sometimes I ask and want an immediate response and of course, a response that pleases me. You know, don't play stupid, we all do it. We might as well be God if we think we can request something and get it right away or get it the way we want it.

Wendy Anne, well, she's a dog, she doesn't ask and her actions broke my window screen, gave me heart failure and I remain with one stinky room. The timing wasn't right. Determination and desire was there but for all the wrong reasons.

Be determined, have desire and ask and you shall receive...........

A door may be closed but a window may open!

I lift my hands to you

My prayer for those in Haiti.....

I lift my hands to you this day,

My heart is heavy, not sure what to say.

It is absolute tragedy and madness,

So many are the tears of sadness

.

Children crying, people dying,

I take a breath and I am sighing.

What are we to do this day?

Will you answer while I pray?

Storms, hurricanes, and earthquakes,

I Can not sleep, I lie awake.

I want to hold the little ones,

Rock and sooth them til it is done.

Help me, help them Lord of All,

We stumble, trip and we fall.

Some have more some have less,

Help us, help them have the best.

We are one and one are we,

Me and you and you and me.

Battling the storm of humankind,

Where some have and some won't find.

Peace by you and mercy shall be,

Upon those people His grace we'll see.

Broken, weary, beaten and done,

Help them Father, Spirit and Son.

Give them comfort, give them sleep,

Rest now, dream now, count your sheep.

God is with us, through this storm,

This life's defeat will take new form.

Faith and hope will stand fast,

Gods love will forever last.

The angels spread their wings,

We hear their voices for they sing.

God is good and God is great,

We come together not in hate.

But in love for you and you for me,

We are one and one you'll see.

Amen!

Tea For Eight

I had every intention of taking a picture of all my cups and inserting it into my blog but as you know that is more time than I can spare so I have a generic picture that doesn't quite capture my own collection. I am to embarrassed to tell you how many cups I have in my kitchen cabinet. I have short squatty ones, tall thin ones, all colors imaginable. My collection also consists of holiday cups for Christmas, fall, Halloween, Valentines, St. Patrick's, Independence Day and on and on.... I pick a cup for the day based on how I feel and what I wear and yes it is somewhat like picking out a pair of shoes.


My family gets me cups randomly, so each cup has a special meaning.


I wanted to share my cups the other night so I invited a few dear friends. Does that sound funny, "to share my cups?"


I've been here for several years now and I have reluctantly been calling this place my home. Oh, I know your next question, your are going to ask, "why?" Well, I have long contemplated that question for many years as we move and try to adjust to the transition of a new home and place and I run into the same problem each time. The problem I encounter is leaving my dear friends that I have grown to love and then having to open myself up to new people.


My husband tells me "home is where you put your feet and place your seat." Well, that concept doesn't work for me, I have to have more substance. I know his heart is in the right place but I think I approach it differently. I think about circumstances so intensly that I wear myself out. I'm sure God is worn out with all my scenerios too. He's probably thinking, my goodness, when is that woman going to quit thinking so hard. She makes life so difficult.


My previous home was a small town with not to many pleasantries, however the people in that town were genuine. I'm not knocking the town, but what I am expressing is how sometimes you don't need all the added extras to make your life feel complete. It is hard for "city folk" to understand this concept because they look at a small town and think "what is there to do" and if there is nothing to do "what is the quality of life?"


I have grown to love the pleasantries of life here in my new town, but I have been missing the one item that makes a home a home, which is the genuine love for my neighbors.


That missing link to my madness is all but a memory now.


So, last night, I put on my PJ pants and old ratty, faded sweatshirt (no pretenses here...) and told my neighbor friends to come over and be comfortable and we would have coffee, tea, and a little dessert and friendship. There were eight of us, sharing in laughter and stories. This lasted from 7:30 till 10:00. Our ages ranged from the 20's, 30's, 40's and almost "50's". I feel like I am finally home now in an odd sort of way.....


Scripture tells us to pray without ceasing. I realize I stay conscious of God's presence within me at all times. I have long and short conversations with God minute by minute. I also admit that I can become very resistant to what he tells me and I believe his message has been lately to let go and let Him take over. Why didn't I listen?? If I would have listened two years ago I could have embraced my new friends with a cup of tea many nights ago. These are my least honorable moments with God, that is, not listening.


I let my crazy schedule be my wall of defense and yet by doing this I am not allowing my children to relish in the beautiful friendships of our neighbors that dwell beside us. To my beautiful women friends/neighbors in the past, present and future as we become the branches of the beautiful vine of friendship of God's blessings, let us give thanks for neighborhoods, laughter, tears and cups of tea.


Romans 12:4-5
For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another.


And so with that note, cheers to neighborhood friendships.


Cup of tea anyone?

But Why???

It is good to get back into a rhythm of life. As much as I hate schedules they give me a sense of purpose. I consider not having a schedule an open season for chaos, at least in my house.

The kids are back in school from a long winters break.

I started a new job, learning new things....

My religious education class that I teach to 4th graders has resumed. Even though I am challenged daily with time I have continually chosen each year to being active in teaching God's word to the young and sometimes those young at heart. I love to share the faith.

Monday was my first day back after winter break and I somewhat had the butterflies anticipating the children's arrival to class only because I was hoping they would be as excited as I was about seeing them. Sometimes it is hard to understand the depth of the children's faith or belief as it is sometimes the same with adults. It is just easy to share with them and read bible stories in hopes that they will ask questions and think and pray about things. I usually pray before class to ask for guidance in wisdom and love and ask God to use me as an instrument in serving his children. I didn't pray yesterday for this but God took over anyway. Thank you God!

Did class go as planned????? NO WAY!!!! It went better than usual. And it was much to my surprise that it went as well as it did. I figured first day back they would be all anxious and out of seats, roaming around, talking, not paying attention.... you know it is sometimes the same as when you are going to let them out for a break. It is just restlessness.....

I transition the classroom about every 15 minutes to keep their attention. After all, class begins at 5:30 and they have already had a full day of learning at school. They are tired, as am I.

Today, they got the big picture. I got the big picture too. We all got it together.

They asked questions, and more questions and the more they asked questions the more each of us learned more about one another and our God. We learned many things this evening. Their questions went like this, "BUT WHY?" No one really had all the answers but it allowed us to just talk and share.

I learned; to relinquish control into the hands of my Father. I have this tendency to try to control the events in the classroom and not allowing enough time to just "be". I programed my class according to my will instead of His.

They learned; to ask questions, many questions and they learned if they share someone else might share as well. All this sharing lead to many discussions about being the best Christian we can be and the qualities of a good Christian.

2 Peter 1, 10-11

So then, my friends, try even harder to make God's call and his choice of you a permanent experience; if you do so, you will never abandon your faith. In this way you will be given the full right to enter the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

But why???

Because God says so!!!

NEW TRICKS

I'm getting old. That is just fact. We are all aging. Everyday, tick, tock. I try to remember certain times in my life, but things are just slipping from my memory. I guess the older you get the more there is to remember.


I was at the dinner table tonight and my son describe a time when we were with my parents and we were all laughing at a comment. He was describing the situation and stated he will never forget that moment in time because it was so funny. I could not for the life of me remember what he was talking about. My son, he's young still. He may forget it later too. Things like that bug me because I should remember, right???


I was reading a book today about teaching an old dog new tricks. Why would an old dog want to learn new tricks. Old dogs are probably tired just like old humans. I have three dogs. They are not old, but they really never learned tricks. They are not well behaved, but they are well loved.

I started a new job this week. I'm an old dog. Didn't really want to learn new tricks and sometimes I'm not sure if I have the energy to do new tricks. You know, it is all about the age thing.


Change is good. Letting go of fear is good too. Age is good as well. Small sentences, but each statement holds a huge impact on us and those around us.


Change, hummm, lets see where this takes us. It seems in my life I have not had an issue with change, we seem to move frequently, our lives are in constant motion and nothing ever seems the same. Every time we move or take on a new activity or new job we meet new people. These people or friends without fail, become close endearing friends. These friendships help us grow as individuals and I believe it takes a village to raise a child. We have had many villages raise our children. Thank you!


Fear.....Sometimes we just have to let go and not worry about all that change. Easier said than done. I worry about many things, but mostly about why I can't let go of the worry. I try to cling onto the worry like I should own it, like it is some kind of material possession. The simple practice of acknowledging the fear and handing it over to God would put many items on my fear list back into perspective.


Hummmm, then there is age..... Our minds start slipping, our bodies start sagging, we ache and we complain. However, receiving the blessing of old age gracefully is yet, but a blessing. It is hard to do this (you know, put things into perspective) because we remember the idea of youth, maybe not everything about our youth, but God has given us a long life for things to be to numerous to remember. What a blessing!!! What a life!!!


Wouldn't it be so easy to yet be so simple to give it all to God and trust Him totally?


In all these above so called "adverse reactions to age" there can be growth opportunities with God? How can something so simple be so complicated? Well, because we are human. God's ideas are not so simple that we humans can grasp them so easily. We have to fall several times and pick ourselves back up before we finally get the idea.


Back to my new job..... I would be stupid to say that since I am older and have experience in work related jobs and education that this new job should just come easy to me. No way, I'm old and I have new tricks to learn. I have to do a faith walk with and live in total dependence of God to get me through this and much more that I am sure to encounter. I do not expect this to be easy, but I think I am going to stop beating myself up and I am going to slow down and let Him set the pace for me and enjoy the journey as I learn.


I am going to take out the book of new tricks for my dogs. Maybe they will learn something along the way too.


Ruff, Ruff.....

Rocket Science

I have been blogging for about 3 months now. I'm not sure how I got started doing this or why but, I do enjoy it. It is similar to writing in a journal but it is so much easier, neater, and it is always nice to have the ability to go back and change mistakes or thoughts if once it is written it doesn't make sense or if it is not expressed the way I had intended.

I have on occasion gone back and looked at my previous handwritten journals and they are dingy, gloomy and actually in quite comical shape. As you age, the paper ages and crinkles and the scratches of ink by mistakes are embarrassing. I never journaled at the same time of the day either. However, I did journaled at night many times and by that time of day my handwriting was not legible.

I have seen journals where people not only write but, they draw or sketch for visual effects to add flavor to their writings. The sight of these creative journals are breathtaking but sometimes I ask "why go to the work when no one reads them?". Creative inspiration??? Maybe.

I would have really liked my journals to have looked like the one below. The penmanship is velvety smooth, and I'm most certain the writings are probably quite impressive as well.


There are a few red scratches, so we all do it, go back and read it and make changes.

My family made the comment the other day as to why I would want to share my thoughts on line for all to read. I simply responded that anyone who knows me well enough already knows my thoughts. I have already shared them with the ones that I care about and there is nothing to hide. And for those lucky ones, and I am just sure there are many out there reading my blog that don't know me, (just kidding) well then, they are getting to know me by my blog only. The purpose of this blog is to help me better understand me. My thoughts are just that, thoughts. Sometimes it is merely jibber jabber and other times I would like to think that I may actually have something spectacular to say for anyone who cares to read this blog, even myself.

I would like to think that I am unquestionably, outrageously intellectual, marvelous with words, exceptionally talented at getting my point to the reader and that I have ample words of fascination. That's a mouthful and for those that know me well enough, know that I do not carry on about my day like have been been possessed by creative adjectives.

Onward... my writings are not rocket science....they are just thoughts.....to get some of the conversations ongoing in my head down on paper. It helps me think, reflect, meditate, to come closer to God. When my children are asking me 100 questions I repeat His name, or when I am swimming I pray or when I am writing I am praying. It is all a form of prayer for me and maybe you. They are my thoughts that are just "out there."

A little story here and there in the ordinary life of me. A reflection or verse from the bible to share with all. God wants us to pass His word on. With that said.... Paul gives thanks to God as well as I..... and the Bible says....

"Let us give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the merciful Father, the God from whom all help comes! He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God. Just as we have a share in Christ's many sufferings, so also through Christ we share in God's great help. If we suffer, it is for your help and salvation; if we are helped, then you too are helped and given the strength to endure with patience the same sufferings that we also endure. So our hope in you is never shaken; we know that just as you share in our sufferings, you also share in the help we receive. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

The words of wisdom that Paul is trying to express is not rocket science either....!

My Vice

My vice...my love ...my flaw.....my delight...my shortcoming....my passion.....my addiction.....my devotion....my weakness.....my fondness.....bad habit....


It is what it is.... a habit and one in which I just can not break. I have tried, literally tried and everyday I think about not eating it but I just give in to it. I am talking about the ice cream. It is a love hate relationship. My family doesn't help either because they know about my love hate relationship and they tempt me when they go to the grocery store. They will call and say, "do you want us to get you some ice cream while we're here?" or "mom, would you dish me out some ice cream..?" That is the worst comment yet because there is no way on this green earth that I can resist the idea of not having a scoop of ice cream myself.


Oh my favorites are chocolate, vanilla, cookies and cream, chocolate chip, neapolitan, and most all toppings; chocolate, sprinkles, marshmallows, strawberries, cookies.......


My schedule has been somewhat off since the holidays. I have no schedule and tend to wander in the kitchen all day.


Today for instance, I had a piece of fudge (the last piece that I hid from my family), a slice of lemon cake, a brownie, and then I went to a friends for some yummy food and friendship and I then ate a piece of cheesecake. I came home opened the frig and notice my Blue Bell ice cream sitting on the shelf all by itself. I felt sorry for it so I thought it needed some company. I took it out and looked at it.


I didn't eat it but, I did take a picture of it instead. (see above) I really wanted to just taste it but I knew it would lead to a heaping bowl. I feel like I could just pop. My stomach feels like an inflated balloon. If I keep eating at this rate I will look like one too. Haven't done much swimming these last three days. My exercise has been consistent with wandering in the kitchen (utilizing my thigh muscles), using my fork (working my biceps) and back and forth.... you get the idea.


Enough is enough.


We self destruct or at least I do in one way or another. I would like to think I was the only one that does this but, I know a few that do the same thing, maybe they just don't self destruct with ice cream but, there is another vice that is lurking with most everyone.


Sometimes I think I swim each day just so I can have my ice cream at night, you know, the reward for working out really hard.


Today is the first day I haven't had ice cream. I am thinking about it though. I took a picture of it too but, I put it back. I resisted the temptation.


Temptation....willpower..... those two words just don't go together.


Evil.....good.....Devil....God..... These words just don't go together either, like me and ice cream. God gives us free will to these choices. That's right. The choice is ours. To do with the temptation with however we choose. What a gift right???? It was a big gift. Thank you God! Just kidding, not really.


Why do we have temptation? Why not just have everything good? Why not have ice cream that you can eat everyday with no calories but, it tastes as good as the ice cream that is loaded with fat??? Answer: we would not appreciate it because we would not know the difference.


Evil....Good..... We have a choice. Devil..... God...... We have a choice.


God wants us to know him and to know him we have to know what the difference is not. He wants us to choose a path to holiness. Us holy??? Why not??? We have a choice to follow the path away from self destruction, like ice cream.


Now ice cream is not that bad but it can be if I consume it every day. It can creep up on you like most any sin. People who steal cars didn't start off stealing nice big cars. They probably started stealing small pieces of candy. It then ballooned out of control.


I put the ice cream back in the frig for the sake of my button on my pants and for not wanting to look like a balloon tomorrow. I know the difference. I have to make that choice. It is not easy. Never is. The path in making the right choice is hard but, the destination can be one of holiness.


For now, my love hate relationship with ice cream remains. I won today, I think. Depends on how you look at it....evil or good.

MEMORIES

Everyone is writing about their resolutions for 2010. I have read many of them today and yesterday and on and on..... I would like to think about my memories of 2009, or maybe not..... Hoping and praying 2010 is 100 times better. We've all been through it at one time or another, you know a year from HE_ _. I won't type the word so I can keep my blog CLEAN. We have all had those years where we think the black cloud is following us on purpose. We re-evaulate our lives trying to figure out what we could have possibly done wrong to deserve such nonsense in our lives. I have taken myself to the chapel many nights wondering this thought myself and how to make the change.

So, my memories for 2009 are a big blur because of the BIG BLACK CLOUD hanging over my head and roof. I would like to think maybe these clouds are all but, lessons in life and I got a good dose of them in one lump sum in the year 2009. I learned how to be patient and most would say that I am a very patient person anyway but, I got more of it this year. I learned there are friends where you least expect them and when I least expected them to understand they won a blue ribbon and a gold medal for helping me see through issues or how to rise above them. Thank you Friends!! I learned that life is very short and there is no time like the present, literally. I learned that taking time for ME is very important even amist all the things that was presented by this black cloud this year. I learned that by exercising daily, even when I am tired and don't have much time it is a way to clear my head and heart and to have a little peace.

I know that the word MOM is the most important word in my vocabulary. My mother and grandmothers taught me what the word MOM means. It is ever endearing, tender, loving and passionate for those whom they love. Their love never ceases and they would go to the ends of the earth to protect and nuture those that they hold dear to themselves. I think I have a full understanding of them now and understand the word in a whole new perspective in this year of 09. I have also reached a new level of motherhood myself this year.

When I try to relate some of my insignificant pain and trials of motherhood I get my bible out and try to place myself in the position that Mother Mary was in at the time Jesus' life and death. Both settings are at opposite ends of the spectrum. The joy of life and the pain of death. She endured many life changing events in her life by saying "Yes" to God and no to her own self satisfying needs. She was a mother who served her Lord and Son and us. I think about the time in which she lived and the little things that sustained her. We have so much and think we have so little. It humbles me to complain anymore but, somehow a complaint does squeak out my mouth several times a day and in doing so I realize I am probably being a pain in someone elses back side and they are trying to humble themselves because of what I dish out to them.

As I read scripture I try to find hope to transform my life. As I fall each day I know my Father will reach down and pull me up and teach me humility, if I let him. I fall and rise again with Him over and over, day in and day out. That is Life.

It is in life that we have memories, lessons, and new resolutions in trying to better ourselves in serving our Lord, our families and in making peace with which lies in the past, present and accepting the future, the future of 2010.

And the one most important memory and lesson of 2009 which I hold dear to me is........I will NEVER say NEVER again.

NEVER!