Grounded

This weekend I went to a swim meet at the University of Texas. The weather was beautiful and it was around 75 degrees, warm enough that you would want to be outside enjoying the weather versus being inside a dry humid natatorium. I'm loyal and I sat inside watching my son swim. He didn't have a great meet. It was the state swim meet so all is fair in saying "his mom thought he did great just because he made it to districts, regional's and then to state". He had a bad ear infection and a sinus infection and with those two combinations, swimming was not really in the cards for him this weekend. He said "thinking about diving into the water hurts before I even do it", so you can only imagine how it really felt when he did. He was also on 9 medications for his ears, sinuses and his asthma. Nine too many if you ask me! He had to swim at this meet for his school, his team and for himself. His participation was vital! He couldn't quit, give up, or opt out.

He gave it his all. He swam hard, he swam fast, he was determined to help his team mates. After the preliminaries the first day, I could tell his coach was a little disappointed. In my heart I was hoping that the coach would not shower this disappointment onto my son. We (his father and myself) were outside waiting for him to greet us after the prelims were over. We were not sure what reaction we were going to get from him once he arrived. I knew I was just going to smile and give him the best hug ever .

Not to soon after the prelims, he came bounding out the doors with the biggest smile on his face. He said "how'd ya like that swim?" all the while laughing and smiling and enjoying our presence. There was not one grin of disapproval from us nor was there an ounce of disapproval displayed in his behavior. He knew he might not do as well as he expected due to his illness, but that illness did not give him permission to pout. He tried as best as he could and he smiled about his performance. He would not let us pout either.

My son was grounded. He was not grounded in terms of being in trouble with his mom and dad, but grounded in the fact that it was just a swimming event. Grounded in the fact that life goes on even though he might not have been number one or two or three..... He was grounded that he was still thankful for his success. He was grounded that his parents loved him no matter how he swam. He was grounded that his team mates were proud of him, and coach was proud of him. He was grounded by the fact that God gave him a remarkable talent to share with others.

If we do not keep our feet planted on the ground like the roots of a tree that hold the trunk upright, we will loose our footing on the ground in our morals and values. We will fall short of the lessons in life in our growth and development with our families, friends and more importantly our relationship with the Lord.

There was a time in my son's swimming career that I as his mother was not as patient towards his swimming. I felt that as much money that his father and myself were paying, he should be at least in the top eight in all his events, all the time, well not all the time but most of the time. I was not the most tolerant of mothers. I just thought that he was not trying hard enough or giving up. All the while the lessons that I learned were that there are many factors that play in the outcome of his performance. One is his physical health and two is his mental health (readiness for the event) and three which is probably more important is his support from his parents and those that love him and to let him know just how much he is love in and out of the water. He has to know that we support him regardless of the outcome. I believe I always supported him regardless, but my words may not have always voiced that to him. I have learned a lot about competition. My dad used to say a saying to my children and it resonates in my ear this weekend and it goes like this..." Good, better,best, never let it rest until your good becomes better and your better becomes best!" I think this just means that you need to try your best and don't give up or settle.

As I walked out waiting for my son to arrive from competition, a massive tree stood in the middle of the walk way. It was well grounded by it's roots as is my son. I hope my son remains grounded. I hope he remains obedient to God's purpose for his life.

"Obedience is a virtue of so excellent a nature, that Our Lord was pleased to mark its observance upon the whole course of His life; thus He often says, He did not come to do His Own will, but that of His Heavenly Father." --St. Francis de Sales

My son's roots just spread a little deeper this weekend. I just hope no one tries to dig them up.

Life on the edge

These vultures have made the ledge to the entrance of our neighborhood their home. I don’t like these creatures. They remind me of death or better yet as I slowly crept out of my car to get a close up picture the only thing I could think of was the movie “Birds”. It was a film that I saw in the sixties. It was scary and I remember it vividly. As I crept up on these birds, I imagined that they were going to attack me and my camera lens and peck my eyes out and flock around me and eat me to death. Death, death, death.

I have been fascinated with these birds since the day we purchased our home. They have become a permanent fixture on this ledge and they are there when you leave and when you arrive. I do not think it is a nice sight for an entrance and I believe everyone in this neighborhood is in agreement.

Well, the other day I discovered why these ugly black birds stay in the area. Here’s the story…..

I was leaving my home to go to work, just pulling out onto the street when I saw a little grey kitten up in the street trying to cross to the other side. I slowed my car down a bit and looked ahead waiting for movement from the kitty. I glanced up in the air and saw our permanent entrance wall fixtures (the vultures) and then my mind starting racing as the vultures started circling. I drove up closer to the kitten and started honking my horn only to discover that I was a little late as a big, black, large wing spanned vulture swooped down and captured the kitty.

With a blink of my eyes the kitten was gone. Its’ tail was swinging in the air as the vulture took off with the kitten.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I took off in my car to follow the bird. He went down into a ravine and back up in the air where I found him in another neighborhood close by mine. He then circled and returned to the spot where he captured the kitten in the beginning. He was about 20 feet off the ground and then the vulture dropped the kitten onto the ground.

The kitten didn’t move, but the vultures did. There were too many to count as they took turns pecking at the kitty. I sat in my car honking at them all the while I was crying. I didn’t know what to do and I knew it was too late.

I don’t like these birds. I’m sure the cows and the chickens and the pigs don’t like us humans either when we go to slaughter them for food. I just kept asking myself why the little kitty???? Why not a armadillo or a skunk or some other creature that does not co-exist as a pet with humans.

My discovery this day lead me to understand why these vultures don’t leave our neighborhood. Their breakfast, lunch and dinner is waiting for them. I wonder how many little kitties have lost their lives to these birds. How many little one to two pound dogs have lost their lives, as well.

I was so angry that day. I couldn’t see past that little innocent gray kitty eaten up by the vultures. I was mad at God that day for letting that kitten die and for letting me see how those vultures got their meal. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want them on the edge of our entrance. I had words with God that day. I was mad!

“Remember this, my dear friends! Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry. Human anger does not achieve God’s righteous purpose.” James 1:19-20

This day I saw the circle of life.

This day in my neighborhood, the kittens are the ones living on the edge.

Chuck and Larry

These are my birds. The birds name are Chuck and Larry respectively. They look identical and most can not tell them apart from each other however, if you watch them closely for several minutes you will find that one has a stronger personality and the other one has very vibrant coloring on its' little feathered body.

My father gave a beautiful antique bird cage to my daughter several years ago. I was apprehensive about that bird cage for several reasons. One, if you have a bird cage you usually have birds and two, if you have a bird cage with birds you usually have a cage full of bird mess and three, someone usually has to clean that bird mess up once the birds mess and I knew that that special someone to clean the mess was going to be me.

I think there might have been some miscommunication between my daughter and her grand father when the bird cage exchange began. She was interested in receiving the cage not so much the birds. But, not long after he arrived at our house for a visit they were both at the pet store purchasing birds. They were also purchasing bird food, swings, perches, bird liter and so on….. My daughter was not going to disagree with my father as long as it was his idea and the idea did sound good at the time.

The first week my daughter adored the birds. The second week they were moved out of her room into the family room and then when the cage needed cleaning she insisted she didn’t have time. I inherited the birds and the cage and to this day, I feed, clean, care and try to love the birds. It’s hard to imagine an attachment to birds although I will say, I’m attached.

Last night I had to cover them up with yet another blanket to ensure that they would be warm because we were having unusually cold weather. In the middle of the night they started singing, chirping or barking, if you will, and I woke up in a state of panic. I couldn’t tell if it was one bird making all the noise or both. I laid there thinking it was going to stop, then I got to thinking to much and starting wondering if something was wrong with one bird or the other. I arose from my bed only to discover that they were thirsty and I proceeded to give them some water. Their chirping stopped.

Chuck and Larry need each other. I don’t really know if it is a Chuck and Larry, it could be a Chuck and Mary or a Mary and Larry, you get the idea, but what would I do if one of the birds fell ill and died or better yet, what would they do? These birds have been caged together for three and a half years. If one bird flys to one side of the cage the other one follows. If one sits on the swing, the other one joins in and if one eats, the other one watches. They are two birds joined as one.

After I got my birds settled this little incident reminded me of the beauty of God’s creation. He created purpose in everything and the need to need each other even if it’s birds. We all need companionship, comfort, security and all the feelings that go with life.

My birds do not fly onto my hand when I reach in to pet them. Matter of fact, my birds fly away when I come near them. Maybe they have sensed my feelings from the very beginning.

On the 5th day God had created birds. He blessed them and God was pleased. Genesis 1:20-23

My birds are here to stay even though I sometimes wish Chuck and Larry would fly, fly away.

Cover Up

I drove around the neighborhood today looking at all the yard decorations.  This picture is a typical view that one sees here in the south. Nope, it is not Christmas with beautiful tree lights and ornaments nor is it Halloween where we dress up our shrubs and trees and flowers.  It is just a typical day in the south where we have unexpected cold or “extreme weather temperatures” that are not so called “normal” for this part of the country.  I personally think  it hilarious to see yards full of unusually shaped shrubs dressed in colorful blankets.  It’s just that time of year.

I often tell my children, even my children that are adults that they too have too cover up each day, not only by wearing modest clothing so they don’t tempt the eye of the beholder, but to wear their “Armor of God” each and every day.  If they don’t have their armor on each day they become vulnerable to temptation. 

Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights without food.  The idea of me being in my house for 40 days and 40 nights with food is unimaginable and my house is certainly not a desert.  But, in those 40 days and 40 nights, Jesus relied on God for strength and guidance.  He only served God.

“The scripture says, ‘human beings cannot live on bread alone, but need every word that God speaks.’” Matthew 4:4

I have three older children that can read the bible and discern what is being read however, I have a little girl that can read the bible, but needs help in understanding the words.  She needs her armor just as much as my older ones and they need God’s armor every day to protect them against Satan’s tricks. We have to cover up not just in the winter to keep us warm, but in the summer, spring and fall too.  We have to constantly be covered with God’s armor to resist temptation. 

In the prayer that the Lord’s taught us to pray, he says  “Do not bring us to hard testing, but keep us safe from the Evil One.” Matthew 6:13   We should make temptation a constant focus in prayer, each and every day as God instructed us in the Lord’s Prayer.  By praying the Lord’s prayer we are asking God to keep us safe from the Evil One.

When under attack by the tempter, Jesus relied on the Word of God to resist his adversary.

We don’t have to wear an armor of steel or some form of metal, but we do have to wear God’s word.

The people who cover their plants from harsh weather are protecting them from a hard freeze, ultimately from the death of a freeze.  We cover our hearts and souls with God’s word so our hearts and souls don’t die from the cold reality of temptation.  

We can choose to cover up or go under cover……   

Babies on board….

I woke up this morning at 4:50 to take my son to swim practice it was a bit chilly this morning, I think we finally got some cold air from the northern states.  Maybe God heard my prayer yesterday about being too warm in the south in the middle of January.  I arrived home, still dark outside, quietly make myself a cup of coffee and began to check all three of my email accounts.  There were way too many emails for me to read especially that early in the morning so I opened the ones that looked most important and bypassed all the others.  Needless to say, those too were of no importance with the exception of one in my work account.  A counselor from a high school woke up in the middle of the night and remembered that she had not secured a speaker for her teen pregnancy class.  She forgot to invite a speaker to share some insight and guide these teens towards their future.  So, this special someone decided to email me with an urgent request at four in the morning asking or better yet begging me to respond to her request.  I think it was a "God thing" guiding me to that particular email at that particular time, but I responded and said "yes".  I would speak to her class of pregnant teens.

 
Oh my Gosh!!!  What was I thinking?  I wasn't thinking, after all  it was shortly after 5 a.m. that I had opened the email and had not really digested the fact that she meant today at 11:00am.  I had already told my daughter yesterday that I would watch her 9 month old (my grand daughter) for the entire day today. What was I going to do?  Oh, oh, oh, I manage to get myself into dilemmas, no one to blame but myself.  

I had already hit the send button and now I was in a fix.  How could I possibly send her yet another email and say "sorry, but I forgot I have to babysit today"????  I emailed her back and asked if I could bring my grand daughter.  Of course, her reply, a big, YES!
Then I started to think, which I do on a rare moment, what was I going to talk  about.  After all, I  was no spring chicken, I was not pregnant so how was I going to relate to these young girls? 

There is always a part of me that wants to "mother" everyone, even people I do not know.  I know these girls in high school are either embarrassed, feel defeated, do not see the light at the end of the tunnel, nor do they see what we as mothers already know and that is the life experience of the struggles and joys of raising children at a mature age with a spouse and a strong support system.  These girls were single, did not have a support system, were either kicked out of their homes already or to be kicked out after the baby is born,  no income, have not received their high school diplomas yet and most were in 9th, 10th, 11th and a few in 12th grade.  These girls were babies themselves pregnant with babies.

 
I had to make this speech positive even if they had made choices that had set the stage for a life long change.  Their road was going to be just a little harder, if you will, than most.

 
I have a daughter that is a single mother raising a child.  She has a support system, she is older, she is educated with a high school degree soon to be receiving her college degree.  Even at that, it is still a struggle.  Somehow our family pulled the positive out of the downside of things. 

What was I going to say?

What did I have to offer them that would give them hope?

What could I possibly bring to them?

I drove 20 minutes to get to the school with grand baby in tow.  I prayed the minute my feet hit the floor board of the car until I arrived at the door of the school.  I just asked God to use me however he wanted me to, but to just put the right words in my mouth to reach these girls, to make a difference because due to my lack of preparation I was really unsure of what to say.

The audience consisted of 15 girls and four counselors, me and baby.  Five girls dropped out of school the week before, otherwise we would have had 20 girls. 
I was introduced, then I introduced my  grand daughter. My 9 month old grand daughter began my speech of general direction, guidance on their future educational goals, and lastly, hope for the future.  She shared with them the reason they need to continue school.  She shared with them the reason they need direction.  Them seeing her was a reason to secure a future for themselves and for their baby.  My grand daughter gave them hope.  I spoke the words that day that God put in my mouth to those girls.  I do not remember the words and the words really are not important.  What was important was the way He maneuvered the actions of my grand daughter around those girls brining smiles among all of them.  He gave them HOPE through her.  He used me as the vehicle to get my  grand daughter in the presence of those girls.  I was her transportation.  She was the speaker.

 
I wanted to talk about how God made an upside out of our downside situation.  I wanted to talk about how God  was in our lives, but I couldn't you see, I was at a a public school and we could not speak about God.   I like to talk about God.  I wanted to talk about God.  How could I talk about this situation and their blessings to be without bringing up God.  God however, knew exactly what to do, public school  or not.

  
As it turns out, God was not mentioned in my speech, but his actions spoke loud and clear that day through my little grand daughter.  Those girls may not have a high school diploma yet, but they knew exactly why we both were there.  God shined a little light through my grand daughter for those young girls to see and in that light he gave them direction.  He showed them that in giving love they too will receive.  Every time one of the girls reached out to my grand daughter she reached out to  them.  It is kind of like the light God gave the shepherds the night they followed the star trying to find Jesus in the stable.  God gave and the shepherds received.  When my grand daughter started to fall, the girls would reach out to help and guide her back onto her feet.  It is certainly the same way when we fall God guides us back onto the right path if we allow him.  The girls learned that with a child there will be responsibility even if it is helping them get on their feet, but they too can get back on their feet if they seek help.  And lastly, my grand daughter gave them hope, that through all the trials that are before them now and to come there is still hope to achieve their dreams and those for their children. They saw that although my grand daughter was only 9 months old, life moves on, we grow up and we have to face the uncertainty with hopefulness or we remain in the same place.

God said a lot in that 90 minute speech through my grand daughter's presence and action.  God showed them the joy and the blessing that they will receive and God gave them something to hope for on that day their child is born. 
 

All of this by the grace of God.

“And so they left, and on their way they saw the same star they had seen in the East.  When they saw it, how happy they were, what joy was theirs! It went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.  They went into the house, and when they saw the child with his mother Mary they knelt down and worshipped him.” Matthew 2:9-11

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

“Trust in the Lord. Have faith, do not despair. Trust in the Lord.”  Psalm 27:14

In asking for directions, receiving guidance, we find we can cling to hope and in hoping we are trusting God to act in His good timing.

The upside of the down.......

Thoughts…

I have this incessant and urging call to sit down and write and yet I am unsure about what to write about so I am just going to let God speak to me as I jot down my thoughts.  Oh boy, i’m sure that these thoughts will be random but God knows my thoughts before they even hit my lips or fingertips but I have to get it out, because I am all bottled up with too many thoughts.

 
I was suppose to go into work  today.  I have a sick child and the babysitter has sick children. Hope I don't get sick.  What am I talking about, I am already sick.  Okay, let's say "sicker" and on that topic, I am very frustrated with God right now.  I want to know why  I have been under  the weather for over 4 months.  I am tired of feeling sluggish.  I want to get up and go.  I want to rake the pine needles out of my yard that are consistently collecting in my yard, driveway, on the bottom of my little dear children's' feet and then into my house.  No one seems to notice but me.  Why is that?  That really bugs me that I am the only one that notices the crunched up pine needles in my entry way floors.  Who bottles up theses kind of thoughts but me?
I am really tired of griping.  I guess the griping goes with not feeling good.  The two go hand in hand.  The idea of a good disposition makes me want to go sweep up pine needles and not gripe about it.

 
I love my dogs.  Four simple words, "I love my dogs!"   Try this,  another four simple words, "I hate dog hair".  This  is something else that bugs me.  I sat down to eat and just simply looked down at the floor and saw dog hair all over the place. That is really gross.  We vacuum once if not twice a day.  Why is there so much dog hair.  Ummm, maybe because I have three dogs, silly.  Nobody seems to notice but me.  Why do I notice these things and then let it bug me all day even after I sweep it up?  I just want to get over it.  I want to overlook it like everyone else.  Maybe my disposition would be better.  Maybe that is why  their disposition is better.  Maybe their disposition is better because they knows it bugs me and they know I'll clean it up.  MIND GAMES.....

I sat down this morning and couldn't help but notice my belly  roll over my  pants.  Ever have those days.  I am having them every day.  I sat there and tried to suck it in, I also tried to pull my pants up higher so as to kinda tuck it in, but that became too uncomfortable.  I hope no one else notices my belly fat.  I have a gym membership but I can't go cause I'm too sick.  Everything is defeating the purpose.  What is the purpose? I have a gym membership to stay healthy, I used to attend , but then I got sick.  I cant get well at the gym cause I'm so sick I cant go then why do I pay for a membership when I can't go workout?   There should be a clause in the membership contract about sickness and not paying when you are under the weather. 

My dear son came home from another big swim meet. I care about his passion in swimming but more than anything I love it when he comes home after being gone and he gives me a hug. Isn't that something one would say about their spouse?  I know that sounds weird but  I'm smaller than him now,  he's growing and I'm shrinking.  He towers over me.  He hugs me and I feel safe.  Sound silly doesn't it.  He gives the best hugs.  My husband is shrinking too.  When we hug, we don't know who is really hugging who cause we are both the same size now.  I think my husband likes it when my son hugs him as well.  There's something about being embraced by someone who is bigger than you.

 
I've been saying a few bad words lately, like ________, and ________, and ___________.  I know you are dying to hear which words I have added to my vocabulary or have kept lately.  I have an awful vocabulary and I think it has something to do with my 'disposition' thing. So, unless you are where I am at during the day or evening the power of my tongue is greater than my will power so ear plugs might be a good thing for family and friends.  I'm trying, really I am, It’s just so hard.  Please don't be offended.  I even talked to my boss the other day and the word "crap" slipped out in a moment of frustration.  OOoooppps!  Gotta work on that.

I'm trying to think and type and pray and my daughters little one is trying to get my attention by using her vocal cords, pulling at my leg and making grunting noises.  She is nine months old and she is showing steam in showing us who she is and how to get our attention.  Doesnt she know that I am doing something really important like writing these really intecellectual thoughts down so all can read and learn?  Guess not.  You can only ignore the little rug rat so long, so I am going to quickly end these thoughts. 

It's winter and it is gloomy.  It is rainy and gloomy.  It is not real cold, sweater weather but nasty, messy, gloomy.  That is how I feel, gloomy.  Would I perk up if there was 6 inches of fresh powder of snow?  Probably because I am from the North not from the south and that is what we have in the winter is snow, not warm misty rain.  I want to build a snowman and have the glare from the snow radiate onto my face so I can complain that it is cold. 

Those are my thoughts.  I want, I  want, I want and when things don't go as planned,  like most humans we ask "why".  I sit here and jot down my disposition and in my mind I am praying "thy will be done",  then I sneak in there a little word like "but not more sickness, messes in my entry way, or dog hair on my floor.  "thy will be done" but in parenthesis (my way too).  I want it to go my way, not just God's way cause I really don't get God's way right now.  But, I remind myself that he knows best, the same way I tell my children, "I know best".  I expect my children to listen, so why don't I? Probably because I am running my mouth off about all my frustrations about the way God is handling things in my life.

God taught us how to pray many years ago and he taught us a special prayer called " The Our Father" and in that prayer it says "thy will be done". 

I'm signing off now....

I'm going to say a prayer now that does not have parentheses.

"Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, THY WILL BE DONE......"