With Great Honor

For over 20 years I have stayed at home all the while raising four children and on occasion I managed to work several temporary part-time jobs. I have worked full-time without children, worked part-time jobs with children, worked full-time jobs with children and just worked full-time raising children. My hardest job by far in my career was the over simplified title of "the stay at home" mom. There were days that my home became just 4 walls, the laughter was noise and the only thing that helped me through the end of the day was when my husband returned home from work. As romantic as it may sound that I waited all day to see him, it wasn't him that I actually wanted to see. I wanted to quickly go outside and walk. I wanted to see outside the walls of my home, I wanted to hear the birds chirp and I did not want anyone including my husband to call out my name. Just by one member of my family calling out my name usually was landed with a question which demanded some kind of answer or there was a chore or assistance needed by being connected to that word called mom."


There were times I wanted to change my name. I sometimes would dream of different names. I know that being called a mother is an honor and being a mother is a blessing, but there were those days.... On occasion I would think up names that were hard to pronounce or spell like, "agathalamatha" or "googalapusch" or pretend I didn't hear my own children saying mommy because that was not who I wanted to be at that moment in time. It didn't work. Here I am today, 22 years later still responding to the name "mom" and loving every moment of it.


Being a mother is a humbling experience and can often times be a lonely job. It is a vocation of pure love and servitude. As I reflect back on moments of the past and present in serving my husband and children I can't say it was always or is easy. It takes a fine art to have dinner ready for a hungry family, or making breakfast for them when they are half asleep, getting back packs and homework ready for school, ironing work clothes, cleaning house, picking up toys, cleaning up vomit, changing dirty diapers, managing everyones' social calender, finances, and the like and the list could and will go on forever. It is a fond reminder of serving those that you love and loving those that you serve. It is a reminder that God is part of us all and in serving them we are serving Him. I keep this very close to my heart.


I want my children to know how to serve with happiness.


Serving with happiness.


Feeling unappreciated.


Sometimes these two sentences go hand in hand and when and if they do, we begin to start the cycle of serving out of obligation not out of love. We forget to smile. Running out of the house once my husband returned home from work was sometimes my only moment of the day to breath. That breath of fresh air enabled me to begin again. I poured out many tears to the one above asking for direction, guidance, wisdom and strength in raising my children and keeping them on the right path. Yep, you guessed it, some have strayed, but prayer brought them back.


Two weeks ago my children were asked by our neighbors to care for their homes, dogs and yard as they went on vacation for two weeks. One family went to Hawaii, the other family to visit relatives and friends in several different states. My daughter watched one home and my son watched the other with a little assistance from mom and dad. It was interesting to watch them serve with love. They felt honored that both families asked them to care for their most precious belongings, animals and home. It was a small lesson of servitude. My son every morning would let the dogs out, feed them and love them and then return at noon and evening. Sometimes he would go and take a movie and watch it while the dogs laid on him so they would not feel so lonely. My daughter took care of our neighbors fish and cat, check the mail and stayed there for two weeks to make the home look lived in during their absence.



My daughter received independence for a couple of weeks, my son enjoyed a good movie without interruptions and felt loved by three lonely dogs. It took time, it took love.



1Corinthians 12: 5-7 There are different ways of serving, but the same Lord is served. There are different abilities to perform service, but the same God gives ability to all for their particular service. The Spirit's presence is shown in some way in each person for the good of all.


It is not only the time that my children spent helping our neighbors, but they received many personal lessons in return. They learned to manage their time and handling their home with loving care. An example of neighborly service is when Abraham serves strangers. Abraham is pretty special, though.


Genesis 18: 1-5 ... As Abraham was sitting at the entrance of his tent during the hottest part of the day, he looked up and saw three men standing there. As soon as he saw them, he ran out to meet them. Bowing down with his face touching the ground, he said, "Sirs, please do not pass by my home without stopping; I am here to serve you. Let me bring some water for you to wash your feet; you can rest here beneath this tree. I will also bring a bit of food; it will give you strength to continue your journey. You have honored me by coming to my home, so let me serve you."



I don't know if I could have lived in Abraham's time, I have a difficult time as it is now. Its' not like they had microwave ovens, vacuum cleaners and a kitchen sink to run fresh water. His service was hard for the three travelers and he served without expecting anything in return. He served with such happiness and zeal. And in serving he received an announcement that day that He and Sarah would be having a son. Genesis 18:10



So, my neighbor friend, in serving you, my children received.



It was with great honor!

Three's

This is my pool pump. It looks like I could pull a few weeks, straighten up some of those pebbles and put away our hose attachment when I'm finished. If life was only that easy. If those items really were the issue here. I also wished I knew how half the things work in my household. For instance, I really don't understand the concept of the pump in the swimming pool. There are all these pipes under the ground and then these pipes that stick out above the ground. My ignorance I know, but when things aren't working right I don't have the time to sit around and wait for someone to come out to fix the things that are broken and hope that you have enough in your pocket book to pay for it. There is never one straight answer. Wouldn't it be great to have a book that says to fix a pool pump the cost will be $10.00, to fix your car $20.00 and on and on no matter what is wrong with it or how badly it is broken. And yes, you have guessed it, last week my pool pump broke. The dang water in the pool isn't circulating and the pool is slowly changing colors. It's hot and sticky outside and the pool is broken. For those of you who do not own a pool, well..... I know you don't feel sorry for me, when we looked for houses this time around, the house had to have a pool or the yard big enough to build one. We are water people, not T.V. people and we eat beans and wienies just so we can have a pool. Actually, there is a sacrifice with our income to have a pool, but once you've experienced having a pool it's hard not to imagine life without another. Pools keep you cool!

Strike One.

This is my thermostat at 6:30 in the morning. Imagine what it looks like at 3:00 in the afternoon. I would have taken a picture of it at that time of the day, but I hang out at the mall now everyday from noon til 9:00pm. Our air conditioner in our house broke. It can't be fixed. Need a new one. Can't afford a new one. Situation getting worse especially since I am spending so much time at the mall in the heat of the day and spending all my money, money that should be spent on a new unit. Just kidding. The house is about 10 years old and when the house was built it was installed with a cheap air conditioner that is only to last approximately 10 years. Well, it's been 10 years for us. Go figure. It's hot in here...

Strike Two...

Next item on my list this week that drew my attention to the idea that things run in three's or things break in three's, was my refrigerator. It fell victim to being the third mechanical/electronic device/appliance that broke on my property in one week. Are you feeling my pain? I can't even feel my pain because I am numb to the fact that all three of these items have an element of cooling things down in the summer months and let me not fail to mention that all of these items are not cheap. My nice glass of cold milk before bedtime is all but history now. The frig isn't frigid anymore.

When I was a little girl I didn't have a pool, I didn't have an air conditioner in my house and my mother use to tell me how she didn't have a refrigerator. She would always remind me to shut the door quickly after opening it. Must have been something her mother reminded her about when they had ice to cool it. I guess she felt it was always necessary to remind me of her misery while growing up. Of course, my dad always reminded me of his outhouse in his back yard and having to use it in the dead of night in the dead of winter. I'm glad my toilet works, that would be misery.

What is misery anyway? No toilets??? No air, no refrigerator, and heaven forbid no pool pump to pump that cool water around in the pool. Do we have it easy or what??? Just think back about 2000 years ago where Jesus and the disciples traveled about with no cars or luggage or frequent flyer miles to expedite their travels. Think about the dust, no showers, grime and not being able to wash your hands with soap and water before eating. Some only had the clothes that they wore on their back. And in my world, not having a closet would be drastic. I just can't imagine not being able to coordinate my clothes to the weather, my emotions or how bloated I feel that day to determine my wardrobe. No bed for my head, no chair for my seat and too many other numerous items that accommodate our pleasures in life.

I've had three strikes last week. Could have been worse I'm sure. I don't doubt the big Daddy and his mighty powers to get my attention. I'm just sure that he wants me to share my misery with the rest of you so we can remind each other of our luxuries in life and these so called luxuries are just that, Luxuries. We don't need any of them to survive. The only thing we need is Christ and we need to be mindful of what he endured so that we could have such a life.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all circumstances. This is what God wants for you in your life in union with Christ Jesus.

I AM finding joy in my misery. I watched as my husband found a way to fix our refrigerator. I enjoyed watching him find a way to fix the pump and saw joy in his proud eyes as he saved us a bundle of money. I just hope he can build us a new air conditioner at no cost, that would be pure joy, as I know that will not be possible. He is only human, he's my husband.

We will eventually have to buy an air conditioner, maybe next summer. I know now how thankful I am now for refrigerators, pool pumps and air conditioning. Never thought twice about them before. Something I took for granted. God opened my eyes. God made me think about the disciples journey in the hot dessert sun, infrequent baths, no wardrobe, no splashing in the pool and definitely no cold milk before bedtime.

There aren't 4 strikes in baseball. Only three strikes and your out. Bad things only come in sets of three. I believe God is out of strikes for me. We are on our way to recovery from this dag gun heat.

Two down, one to go......... In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit.... AMEN

Freedom

"Hey mom, when I get older, I am going to do what I want to do. I am going to eat what I want to eat and I am going to get up when I want to get up." Nobody is going to tell me what to do." This is the mind of my childs' idea of freedom.

On the fourth of July I sat in church and took refuge in the arms of my Lord. I love His embrace, to feel His presence and to see Him at work. There were many nations under His roof on the 4th. I looked around at the pews of people and saw many nations under one God. He spoke to a mass of His people in one hour. We prayed, we listened, we celebrated, we remembered, we confessed and we forgave. We believe.

Freedom is different for each of us. My freedom is celebrated each day in my home with many holy reminders. My Bible sits on my night stand, pictures on my walls of the Virgin Mary, my Lord, the angels and saints. I light candles, use holy water and kneel before my Lord in prayer. I wore my freedom yesterday as I draped my scapular around my neck, wore my Benedictine medal given to me by my grandmother, carried my rosary in my purse accompanied by my prayer book. I listen to my Gregorian chant CD in my car and use the Lord's name in my conversations with my family, friends and acquaintances. I pray publicly when I eat dinner or go to church. This is what I call freedom even though it is a little different from that of my children or maybe your idea of freedom. Although we may each verbalize it differently, freedom does gives us the opportunity to express the heritage of our country through our one Divine God.

The American Flag that hangs from the front of my home whips and flaps in the wind as it is a constant reminder to me that God is ever present as He protects this country, this one nation under God. The pursuit to this personal freedom as disciples, believers and people of faith is through our right to free expression by praying publicly, gathering as people of God, and uniting as one body of Christ. If this freedom that God has so graciously given us (the ability to worshiping Him and to be this one nation under God) is taken for granted and these freedoms are removed we will become like many others who find themselves lost with no sense of direction as the sheep are without the shepherd. The severity of this loss will be devastating.

I'm just a mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, aunt and grandma who believes that we must preserve and respect the gift of freedom as no other. This freedom is the legacy that we give our children and grandchildren. It allows us to come together as families on holidays to celebrate or to mourn at funerals but to give thanks to Him on all occasions.

The red in the American flag signifies to me Jesus' blood on the cross as a sacrifice for us to sustain freedom and love through Him. The white is the reminder of purity and holiness that we must strive to keep in our lives to be one with our Father and the blue reminds me of the Holy Spirit as He graciously guides us to Heaven through servitude to one another through love, faith, hope and belief in our one God.

Freedom: The Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

Finding my way.....

There are some days, weeks, months or years that are more demanding than others and I am miffed by how my last two weeks have allowed me to breathe without hyperventilating because the circumstances that surrounded my days seemed to have gone from one extreme to another.



I was surrounded by cheering crowds as I watched my son swim his best swim in his swimming career. I watched as strangers stood up and applauded him and I viewed his team-mates hug him for a swim well done. My legs became wobbly with nervousness during his race and jittery with excitement as he succumbed a goal well deserved. I stood on the sidelines and watched.



I celebrated my daughter's birthday. My daughter, a grown woman, a mother and a friend. We lit the candles. The room glowed. My daughter glowed. She made a wish, blew out her candles and smiled. I watched.



I celebrated my friend's birthday. She opens her heart to me and mine to hers. She's honest, she's pure, she's real. She held my hand, she closed her eyes, she prayed for me on her birthday giving thanks for our friendship. I opened my eyes and saw her sincerity, I watched.



I celebrated my birthday. I'm getting older, wiser, slower, thankful. My family gave me gifts, hugs, smiles, giggles and love. My eyes were wide open. I watched!

I have a friend who went missing. He was angry, confused, lonely and lost. I went searching, I waited, I consoled, I watched.... he was found.

My grand-daughter was fussy, she was tired, so I rocked and rocked her until her eyes fell asleep. I watched her breath in her chest, I watched her eyes flutter, I watched her lips quiver, she dreams. I watched.

My little girl started feeling ill. She said her neck hurt. Her temperature was normal. The next morning her neck pain increased. I watched her tremble in pain, I watched her temperature rise, I watched the doctors examine her, I stammered in fear, I prayed, I watched the temperature fall. I saw her smile. I watched.

My dog is sick. Her ears hurt. She shakes them with such agitation. She wants to tell me her pain. I want to listen. I hold her. I medicate her. I watch.

I went to my neighbors house for "girls night out" and much needed friendship. We gather, we share, we laugh. I thank God for my friends. I wanted the evening to last longer. They were happy and they laughed and I laughed and I watched.

My daughter wrecked our car. Second wreck in 6 months. She's frustrated, angry, embarrassed, scared, but safe. She shows her daddy the damage, her head tucked down. She waits for his response. He loves her. I watch.

I tried to find tranquility in these two weeks. My heart is indifferent, discouraged and confused, exhausted and yet somehow in all this chaos I am refreshed by the outcome of each day. Life. I sat this morning and listened to the rain and I wondered about Him. I'm perplexed by the way He transforms us, molds us, shapes us. I listen to the rain. I watch.

Psalm 139: 1-6

Lord, you have probed me, you know me:

you know when I sit and stand;

you understand my thoughts from afar.

My travels and my rest you mark;

with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Lord, you know it all.

Behind and before you encircle me

and rest your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is beyond me,

far too lofty for me to reach.

I listen and I watch. I listen and I watch. He is at each juncture in my life. He is at each cross road as I am trying to find my way. He was on the cross yet I am the one in pain. I listen, he heals.

In finding my way....He shows me the way......as I listen and watch.....