Living Waters

The force of the water hitting the rocks is what I most wanted to capture in this picture. While standing there trying to figure out the best way to get you, the viewer, to feel the power of this water without hearing it splash upon the rocks was to climb on the rocks myself, juggle my most precious expensive camera that I can not afford to replace, pray I didn't slip on the green mossy rocks and with hopes that the moisture would not get into my camera among other things, just for you to experience what I felt and saw this one particular day. I hope you feel its' power.

Water does have power. It sustains all humans. It sustains the environment. It is life.

The gathering of clouds, the dew on the ground, the sprinkle of rain, the trickle of a stream, the flow of the waterfall, the rushing waters of the river, the magnificent size of the ocean, all powered and orchestrated by our Lord. He is the living water.

As water is essential to sustain our physical life, so too must we have our Lord for eternal life.

With that, my grand-daughter was baptized. Baptized in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. The streams of the living water will flow through her to other people. She will become a channel gifted by her God Parents to send the message of love, peace, and joy to others as she learns, accepts and gives these gifts to others through our Lord.

Her baptism was not done immediately. Four months after she was born. We were trying to make arrangements until one of her God-parents could arrive, as she is from another state. I was a little apprehensive. I wanted her baptized the day she was born. In my own little way, I quietly took holy water and blessed her in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit myself. I couldn't wait to do it at the church. I wanted her joined with the Lord immediately. I wanted the Spirit to be within her.

"But whoever is joined to the Lord becomes one Spirit with Him." 1 Cor 7:17

"One Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." Ephesians 4:5

I wanted my grand-daughter to wear the garment of Christ. I got goose bumps when she was baptized. I cried when she was baptized. It just wasn't because she is my grand-daughter, I cry and my hair raises every time someone is baptized. It must be the Spirit as the invited guest at this most blessed occasion.

As a God parent, parent and grandparent it is our responsibility to teach this little one of God to think through Him, live through Him and love through Him. I pray she receives him with open arms.

As for the water and its' power, well I believe I'm going to go get a glass. A glass of water.

Are you thirsty?

Quiet! You're in the library!

I go and sit, read,
listen, pray and
watch and
think.


There are many chairs in the library.
There are many places to sit.
I choose the most secluded spot in the library.
Three chairs. I choose the middle one.


Strategy. I think to myself.
No one will sit next to me.
I put my purse on one chair
and my books on the other.


Ready, set, write and read.
I notice a little old man wandering down the aisle.
He's wandering towards me.
He's cute, he's old, he's very old.


He has wrinkles.
He has a limp.
He has a cane.
He has a book.


He asks if he can sit in the chair next to me.
I move my purse.
I feel invaded.
He sits down and smiles.


He says "it's a lovely day."
I say "it's hot."
He says, "it's better than cold."
I say "maybe."


He wants to chat.
I don't.
He says something else to me.
I don't bother to hear him.


He repeats himself.
I'm trying hard not to listen.
He's lonely.
I'm lonely.


We chat.
We chat about nothing.
We sit.
He reads, I read. We read next to each other.


Two chairs, side by side
in this very big library.
Did God bring him to me
or me to him?


We spend several hours next to each other.
He coughs, he clears, he moans.
I cough, I ache. I wonder.
Will I too be like him one day?


I ask "what are you reading?"
He says "I'm not."
He says "I'm listening."
I ask "to what?"


He says "I listen to the voice."
I say "there are not many in the library."
He says "just one voice."
I am quiet.


He says he listens to God.
I asked him "what does God say?"
He said "God says many things,
but no one listens."


We sit.
In silence.
We sit.
I pray.


I close my eyes.
I am uncomfortable.
He prepares to leave.
He struggles.


I help him get up.
He grabs his cane.
He starts to shuffle.
He turns around.


I tell him to have a nice day.
He smiles.
I wonder.
He moves along.


Slowly he turns around.
He waves, he whispers,
"many blessings today."
"Thank You", I say.


He shuffles down the long isle of books.
Who was this man that sat next to me
in the silence of the library?
Who was he?


Ssshhhhh! Listen! God has something to say.

The writing on the wall

In 2004 I had a conversation with my mother about aging. We talked about our fears and not being able to be understood if we could not fully express ourselves. My mother was talking about my father being worried about someone laying him on his wrong side as he has a bum shoulder and has a hard time breathing out one side of his nose. My mother said she would want her teeth flossed everyday and it would bother her if her teeth didn't get flossed. I had this conversation in my head all day and it made me think about my own mortality and death and dying or just merely aging.


That evening something happened and here is an email that I sent my mother explaining the "writing on the wall" message.


Dear Mom,

It is midnight and I was in the shower, believe it or not, praying. I did not have time to do my evening prayers and my bible readings. I guess I figured since I went to church today that I did not need to do it again. Poor excuse. So, I began to pray in the shower after a full day,at the hour of midnight.


I always lead my prayers with scripture so the beginning of my conversation with God got put on the back burner until I finished my shower. At any rate, I was in the shower and I was praying or you ad dad. I was thinking about our conversation about aging and our request or worries. You know, about dad laying on his left side and all. Well, I was asking God to just take care of the both of you always and to give you peace about those issues and to assure you that he will e here for you. So, I kept praying and asking God to help be a better mom and wife and daughter. To help me teach my kids His way, not my way but, His way. To help them understand that when you get older (as I have aging on the brain) that all these material things in this world today really don't matter. Mom, you know how the kids always want me to buy them something and I can't afford it? Well, what I really want them to know is that what really matters in life is loving each other and doing God's work. I asked God to really help me because I fail in this area a lot, you know me, wanting more than I really need. So, I said to God, "am I doing a good job, how am I doing, am I on the right track??? Would you please help me God or let me know if I am doing good because I don't want to screw things up for my kids." I said, "I don't care how you let me know, just let me know in your own way if I am doing okay in this department."


I finished my prayers, it was a long hot shower. I had a pain in my neck that day and I let the water run on it extra long. When I got out of the shower it was exceptionally steamy because the water had been hot and it had been running for some time but, for some reason I glanced up and looked at the moisture covered mirror and it said, "GOD LOVES ME' 'GOD IS GREAT' and it had a smiley face on it. I guess the kids had put that on the mirror sometime ago. Maybe God had them put it on the mirror as he knew I was going to prompt him with my questions. Nevertheless, it was there, it was my sign and I truly believe God will take care of us when we ask Him to and when we can't. And as for my children, if they put that on the mirror then they are thinking about God. Another good sign!!


So mom, keep asking and having faith that God will take care of you when we age and we need our teeth flossed when we are old and when we need to lay on our left side. Somehow He'll know and He'll take care of it for us.


As for God's message, read the writing on the wall!!!

Shepherd, pasture and the sheep.

Some days I wish I were a cowgirl, boots and all. I especially consider this when getting dressed to visit city life. Now I'm not saying I don't like to get dressed up and get that pretty feeling or don't enjoy putting on make-up or wearing high heels, I just some days wish I could play in the fields. And so the saying goes, if I was a cowgirl always in the dirt and hay I would probably want just the opposite; city life.


We think the pasture is always greener on the other side.

This most recent picture I took in August was a picture of the Kansas plains. Looking at this picture makes me want this life more than anything. I feel awakened and exhilarated by just looking at it and the moment I stepped foot out of my car to take this picture I felt a sense of peace. It was a breath of fresh air.

Looking at the land and the person working the land can most definitely depict two different perspectives however, when I left Kansas to go back home I took the picture of the Kansas plains back home with me, a sense of peace. It will be a reminder to me while looking at the picture or remembering the time spent there that we too can have this sense of calm and peace in our life even if it is not Kansas.

The big wide open plains appear uncluttered and simplified. Sure, the noise of tractors and the dead of heat while bailing the hay can make for another complete set of emotions but, those effects aside, the simplicity of life, the uncluttered agendas can give each of us time to embrace the moment at hand. This is what I did while taking the picture of the Kansas plains. I embraced the moment and reflected on how I could simplify my life from city life to the life of fields.

The city life is a constant living street. It is like a stop light constantly blinking the colors of red and green. Our lives mimic the lights as we stop, go, stop, go, stop, go... and on and on. There is never really a pause. Even the street lights have a yellow light which means to pause, slow down but, does anyone really ever slow down? Do we try to quickly get through it only to encounter another one to pass through? Do we allow ourselves time to pause and reflect?

My daughter was with me when we paused and reflected while looking at the field. She was astounded by God's beauty and majesty. She took her camera and away she went, click, click, click.

"The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength, you guide me along the right path for the sake of your name." Psalm 23:1-3

My shepherd did guide me to green pastures that day. He let me graze to restore my strength. He is still guiding me along the right path today, all in His name as I take the memory of this Kansas pasture and all its' beauty back home.

A shepherd always guides His sheep, but are you willing to follow?

Sitting in the Chapel

Peace....


I wonder what He wonders about when I wonder,
When I pray?
Does He really listen?
Is He tired of hearing the same voice over and over?
Does He want more, want less of me?
Do I please Him, disappoint Him?
Am I a slow learner, or slow to learn?
Does He understand why I get angry?
Does He forgive me?


My eyes are heavy.
I rest in His home.
He's resting my thoughts.
He's giving me peace.
I'm giving into His presence.
I'm not fighting Him.
I'm letting Him have His way.


I think I trust Him.
I am His child.
He is my Father.
He loves me.
I love Him
I trust Him.


No more questions.
Just Him and Me.
Together,


In peace.....

Hiding under a rock

I took a picture of these rocks while on vacation. My attention was drawn to them merely because they all looked smooth, equal in shape, surface color generally the same and although there is one rock that is chipped at the top of the picture, somehow this rock fits into the picture just right without causing too much of a distraction among the other groupings of rocks.


I have some of these rocks in my front yard, they differ in color but, they create the same sort of picture. They are bound together to create a scene that each beholder views in his or her own way.


Rocks, you say???? Well, although they are just rocks and they fascinated me at the time, I never noticed the one rock that is chipped until sometime later. Not always but, on certain days I feel like the broken rock, or that just maybe I am slowly being chipped away at the edges as I move through life. Broken and bruised by the many misgivings I allow myself to receive.


The last several months as my children went back to school, continued activities, and began anew, I felt the same. I felt chipped and broken. I wanted to hide under the rocks. I wanted to find a warm dark, safe place to hide and escape, to blend with the other rocks and fade into the background. Did I do this? Yea, a little bit and I didn't pray as much and I allowed myself to become chipped, broken and bruised by frustration, anger and temptation. Temptation to give into the darkness of uncertainty.


I ask myself all the time "why do you easily allow yourself not to trust God" and permit your soul to be chiseled away by the very darkness that could be avoided by just trusting?


It is my perception that each of us chips away at ourselves by very simply making statements by saying "I wish I could be that or this or I wish I wasn't this or that or ...." We start this process of chipping away our very beautiful selves that our beautiful and loving God created until eventually there is nothing left but to crawl under a rock and escape. We find no beauty in God's creation.


The comfort of the rocks do possess at times peace to me but, I do not want to hide there all the time. I want to look down at them and discover each and every bit of beauty in all of the rocks, even the chipped ones.


"My soul rests in God alone, from whom comes my salvation. God alone is my rock and salvation, my secure height; I shall never fall." Psalm 62:2-3


"My soul, be at rest in God alone, from whom comes my hope. God alone is my rock and my salvation, my secure height; I shall not fall. My safety and glory are with God, my strong rock and refuge. Trust God at all times, my people! Pour out your hearts to God our refuge!" Psalm 62:6-9