He tells me to Breathe, to breathe in and to breathe out. I inhale and I think of Him. I attempt to get as much air as I can with each breath, inhaling slowly, filling my lungs to capacity and I think of Him. I exhale slowly releasing life, slowly letting go, all the while wondering if He is going to give me another, breath, another day. In and out. In and out. In and out. Each breath a gift. I try to imagine how many gifts of breaths He gives me each day. Each time I breathe in and each time I breathe life out, Him, only Him. The gift of life given to me, to you, every moment of each day.
I am humbled. I am so small yet, so big in His eyes. I tremble at His power and I tremble at His love.
Brian Doyle (picture insert) choose choice words by saying "Sprint away from being important, famous, powerful". "That is what we are here for: to bring love like a searing weapon against the dark, and to do so without fanfare and applause, without a care for sneers."
'By Brian Doyle; The Word Among Us
My prayer this year has been for the grace of humility. This undertaking of silence, self denial, self resignation, all are very overwhelmingly difficult and, I would not say it is not because I boast or am prideful, but it is often times difficult to silence the tongue when I want to be esteemed, or praised or consulted or loved or approved or understood. I pray for the desire of not wanting these things in my life and on my heart and in doing so, I ask Jesus to free me. I pray that others may be loved more than I and to be preferred over me. This prayer is easier said than done.
My heart, my tongue wants justice when I feel unjustly appreciated or misunderstood. My outside is not like my inside. My inside is much more complicated and it is for this reason that I feel so misunderstood. I know God has lessons for me and the one lesson is the silence of my tongue. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to scream until I can't scream no more, I want to scream to the world and make sure that all the wrongs in my life are right and understood by those who wronged me. But in my silence, I have to put aside my autobiography and seek the soul of another and it is in seeking the soul of another that I walk on Holy ground with my Father God. This is what He wants for me now. Silence. Silence to learn another's soul. To listen even if misunderstood. He understands. God humiliated himself to the extreme by dying on a cross for all those who didn't understand. Let me learn from Him. Let me be lowly here on earth so, all the rest of my days may be in humble joy knowing that the only esteem goes to Him that gives me the breath of life. Make it oh Jesus, make this my desire.
The final frontier.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Give Glory to Him.