Early Walk

Making sense of it all....

Intuition....

A spiritual longing....

I am not sure why God pulled me out of bed so early this morning.  I wanted to lay in bed and be drugged by sweet dreams and deep sleep.  He had other plans for me this day after Thanksgiving. The house is quiet and so by fear of waking everyone, I tiptoed to the closet and pulled out my sweat pants and sweat shirt, painfully bent over and slipped on my socks and shoes and stepped outside for a walk.  It was chilly this morning, so the sweatshirt came in handy.  

It has been awhile since I have had an early morning walk, and even more unusual that I did not have my morning brew,  I obeyed God and continued to move in the direction in which I was being pulled, out into the street to pound the pavement.  It was quiet.  The families of my neighborhood were snuggled in their beds, they had gone to work or they were out doing 'Black Friday' shopping. Either way, it was quiet.  I could hear only the rustling of a few squirrels in the leaves at the bottom of the trees, gathering their nuts and preparing for the winter.  

The squirrels didn't seem to mind my presence, especially once I entered the path where most of them seemed to be gathering.  They did hone into me and stopped and stared as I passed by, staying very still, watching and waiting.  I did not appear to be a threat to them, it must have been their intuition that I was only going on a walk, not squirrel hunting.  My intuition was to keep moving as God was pulling and pushing me forward, and I presume He wanted to show me something.  

After a half mile, I wanted to call it quits and come back home and settle down with a cup of coffee. I didn't.  God didn't let me.  He is very persistent.  Spirit continued to move within me, stirring my emotions and thoughts into pondering how great He is and how blessed I am that He wanted to share this morning with me.  As I continued to walk the course of three miles, not one car passed, human, dog or bike.  It was just me and God.  

In a moment of clarity, Spirit was a palpable presence bearing witness to an awakening of pure beauty and divine intervention in my walk.  The dots were being connected at the end of my three miles.  The walk began to resonate deep within that this walk was all that God wanted for me.  He wanted me to have a moment of silence and beauty for my day.  He wanted me to start my day with Him.  It was His gift to me. He also wanted to walk alongside me this morning as I prayed and dwelled in His shelter.  He knew my thoughts, my yearnings, my pain, my joys and my desire to know what He wants for me.  

God insists that we follow Him and in His ways.  It is very easy, especially as the new season of Advent begins, to be very distracted by the temptations of the world, to be lured into the trappings of all earthly temptations and enticed away from God. I am most blessed this morning to have walked with God. I needed a reminder, a slap on the hand, a time out, as a child of God to be more persistent in prayer and love.

My feet led me back home.  I was no longer yearning for answers from God. Silence was the gift that I accepted. My only yearnings that remained this morning as I crossed the threshold of my home was for coffee and a warm blanket.      

Deuteronomy 13: 5-6

"The Lord, your God, shall you follow,and him shall you fear; his commandment shall you observe, and his voice shall you heed, serving him and holding fast to him alone". 

Thanksgiving Brainstorm

My grandchild is sitting here next to me making cards for her mother.  She loves to color pictures, but more than anything, she loves to be the giver.  We receive many cards and pictures from her on a daily basis.  She has prompted me today to write about my reason to give thanks.


1.  Homemade pictures by grandchild even though I only receive about 5% of them.  Her mother receives the other 95%.  At least I know where I stand with her, second best isn't all that bad.

2.  Coffee first thing in the morning.  Without coffee, I may growl!!  I may also bite your head off.....Grrrrrr......

3.  Quiet places for prayer time.  I especially like to find a niche, whether it is in the library, the chapel, or at home to meditate on the gospel.  Without this guidance and counsel from God, I fear I may self destruct.

4.  Ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!  I should probably put this at the top of my list, maybe even before coffee.  I am addicted!!!  Once a day, habit!

5.  A good nights sleep.  After raising 4 children and sleeping with a husband that snores and three dogs, a good nights sleep is a rare find and this is why I carry baggage under my eyes.

6.  A Pay Check.  After working hard all week, the reward is nice.  Especially having food on my table and a roof over my head, and of course....shopping.

7.  My Bathroom.  I hate public restrooms.  I know this may sound weird, but I absolutely hate public restrooms.  I just think of all the backsides of people I do not know sitting in the same place doing their duty.  Yuck.  I would rather go in the woods.  I am thankful for my bathroom

8.  Smart People.  Without smart people we may not have the things that make life easier, and because of smart people, I don't have to work as hard.  Just think about the typewriter before it had the capability to back space and auto correct.  What would we do without the computer?  Can you imagine going back to the typewriter????  Not me.

9.  Dog Hair.  Although, my floor in my home has plenty of dog hair floating around like tumbleweeds, I am most grateful for my dogs.  They give me the most unprecedented joy.

10.  Sounds of the Kitchen.  When I hear sounds in the kitchen, I know it won't be long before I am fed.  My husband likes to cook and I like it when he cooks because then I don't have too.  It always taste better and I'm not tired when I sit down to eat.   I'm grateful for my ALL of my children because they can clean up the dinner dishes afterwards.  Thanks be to God.

11.  Friends.  Especially those that know I love them even though I don't keep in touch regularly. I'm really lousy about communicating.  I want to hear all about their life, but it is dreadful for me to talk about mine.  Don't ask...  but I am grateful and thankful for life.

12.    Planners.  My world revolves around my planner. Without my planner, I would not only be in total chaos, but I would be chaos. I am most certain that planners were specifically designed just for me. I am so honored.

13.  Men's boxers.   Men do not know how grateful they should be having boxers designed just for them.  I love men's boxers.  Not to just look at men in their boxers, but to wear them to bed as my trusty PJ's.  I just sew up the open space in the front, grab a matching t-shirt and wallah!  Night time nighties.

14.  Family.  Yes, I am blessed to be surrounded by my family, including all the good and the bad that is pulled out of their hats.  I wanted to say 'crap' pulled out of their hats, but I refrained.  Just thought you should know my real thoughts.  The 'crap' makes us thankful for the 'good'. Right?  So, in recapping item #14, I am thankful for the crap that is pulled out of my family's hat.  It is good to have crap every now and then.  Crap reminds you of the opposite, Good family times.

Glad I was able to share my the many blessings given to me on this day of Thanksgiving.

Thessalonians 5:18  "In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus".

The Parable of the Lost "Daughter"

Siblings...

I have always prayed a prayer for my children to be best friends. The prayer began when they were babies and continued as they became toddlers, teens and as adults.  Three of my four children are inseparable.  Of the four children I have been blessed to have, one child has chosen to walk away from our family.  The other three children do not have an opportunity to be best friends and come to know her as an adult. She has been on her own for two years.  They do not miss her now.  She is a memory to them.  They have moved on from the initial pain that she created.  They have developed among themselves a very close bond.  They are, once again, inseparable. They lift each other up when they are down and enjoy the success in each other's lives.  My heart aches for my daughter that left and for my other three that choose to remain.  They are all missing out on so much, as am I, and my husband.  There is much pain.  

My daughter that left and is walking a different path also walked away from God and all the blessings he has bestowed upon her. I suspect one day she will return, possibly...and my question is always, how will we ever restore what has been lost?  We won't. There will always be gaps in the story line of our family.   

I look at this picture above and I just smile.  It is tender, sweet and you get a sense of generous love.  This is not a picture of a boy and young girl dating, simply brother and sister.  They enjoy each other's company when in each other's presence.  

I debated just recently to have our family pictures taken by a photographer for our annual Christmas pictures/cards.  We have not had them taken in two years. My youngest of the four reminded me that we are still a family with or without the daughter missing.  We still have many things to be thankful for, especially each other. I get a little frustrated that they do not share the pain that I still do, but they also did not give birth to her, raise and love her as did I. The picture will not be complete.      

The Parable of the Lost Son is a parable I have been visiting quite frequently.  I read with new understanding of this parable.  This son, as my daughter, has squandered much.  My daughter as did the son has had no regard for the course of his/her actions or those that they have hurt while on their selfish journey.  And I ask myself each day, will I be able to be as humble as the father that embraced his son that returned?  Will I be as humble to one day resume a relationship with my daughter if she chooses to come home? Most days I say 'yes', other days, those when I am experiencing humiliation, anger and pain, I tell my self 'no way'.  She deserves what she has created.  I think to myself, why should I allow her to return?  Then, as I go through my day, there may be a sweet reminder of  her and I begin my yearning for her all over again.  

I take each day, day by day, now simply enjoying the family that embraces me and each other.  I am most blessed, but the pain remains. 

There will be family pictures this year with those that choose to be family.  We will continue to create family memories.  We will continue to grow closer and love one another.  We will continue to pray for my missing daughter and my prayer is the "Parable of the Lost Daughter".  

My blessings of three, will remind me to say "cheese".